Ymca “warm pool” lifeguard

This pokemon equivalent of this stage of capitalism is like if people started eating pokemon and we got mad at them they were like “but theyre soooo good” like you cant fucking do that bro

I want to make a sorkin show about administrative politics at a university that is just so fucking boring

Minnesotans be like “dont mistake my expressed interest in a social engagement for interest in a social engagement”

OBS stands for Onsome BullShit

Chris Rock says he “don’t got that ‘MADAGASCAR’ money anymore” after his divorce and wants another sequel. “There’s five ‘Ice Age’ movies. Fuck Ray Romano!” #Madagascar #ChrisRock #IceAge

One gen z trend i dont love is that we can’t seem to gather more than 5 people together at someone’s house to hangout without an event flyer, sent out 2 weeks in advance

A Deshaun Watson apologist this app really has everything

the Mario Galaxy planet off in the distance with a boss waiting on it

shouting into the void here, I know, but you are literally living in the thought experiment "Would you use an app owned by Adolf Hitler?"

Nothing gets past this guy!

Small business owners are assholes

Metro transit bus riders are the strongest, most patient, sexiest and smartest class of people these twin cities have ever seen . Do not fuck with us and stay the fuck out of our lanes

Mute the word “felon” on here and watch your scrolling experience improve tenfold

Franklin Avenue near Hiawatha’s pedestrian median has been fenced up for five straight years. Jacob Frey

To the drivers using 24th street as the McDonald’s drive-thru line: count your fucking days

Gunpowder and dogs have coexisted for thousands of years i dont understand this sudden moral panic

I wanna be trapped in a burlap sack so bad i could get so much work done in there

System shock will have you saying shit like “please dont make me kill scrub bot” out loud

Proton Docs, proton drive… leftists are rooting for you. But you suck so much ass

Please don’t swear if you’re gonna do columbo this is so not him he would never say this

If you have >4 guitars that lay around your house and you dont hang them on the wall because you think its pretentious im going to beat you up

Taylor swift and scott pelley are not resistance icons we are so starved

People seriously think Minneapolis isnt cunt? We literally have a neighborhood named c-word

Dumb person: People have so much loreee its crazy

im in the lab inventing a new kind of shit with my ass

Wow my boss is so good at writing long emails in a short amount of time

adderall expectations: I am going to write so much and work on the projects I care most about adderall reality:

Oh my god this movie SUCKS

I love walking so much

Amy 🐐man

Governor Jacob Frey vetoing a bill that would guarantee healthcare to all Minnesotans in 2031

Pues eso es sexy 🫦 muy sexy 🫦 🫣🫣🔥🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

I don’t think anyone on bluesky will be young enough to know what this means but the lyrical lemonade era was horrible

Wait until they learn what the FL stands for in DFL 😨

We need more slurs for white people. Bring back ofay

To whoever invented this piece of shit i hope that once you die your casket is slanted 45 degrees: may you know the discomfort of the millions of North American backs and asses you’ve inflicted this antihuman hostility upon!

Less biopics more bi bropics

“Please come and spend lots of money! Just don’t go here or here. Whoop, Or here. Or here. Nothing bad ever happened and nobody’s civil rights were violated here”

Im going to fuck you up bro

To whatever intern covered up the pretti and good posters on franklin and hennepin with ads for a MiA exhibit: you are a corny little bitch

This is a CAT checkpoint. Show me the most recent cat image on your phone.

I will not accept lectures about political strategy from someone who owns a funko pop

The william shatner kelloggs commercial is funny