Midge

Stages of life: 1. Birth 2. You gotta be fucking kidding me 3. Death

[something good happens] ME: *already planning for the worst possible outcome* this is bullshit

“I know you think you’re being funny, but honestly Dave, it’s just hurtful.”

When more than five poodles gather, it’s called an Oodle of Poodle

“What the here is going on?” -2026

“What the here is going on?” -2026

A tank top under a tank top is an emotional support tank top

It cannot be ruled out that this is a threat to use a nuclear weapon against Iran

This is incredible.

Brian Noem trying to catch your eye with his big fake knockers

Brian Noem trying to catch your eye with his big fake knockers

kiss me by the warmth of the costco rotisserie chickens

we say “o’clock” because time is irish

There’s a dog crying in the hotel room next to mine and I think this is what hell is like

They won't start with banning birth control. First they'll lie about it. Then dictate who can prescribe it, use it, fund it, in what forms, and for how long. Suddenly, your doctor won't call you back. I know this is what they'll do because it's what they're doing to transgender healthcare right now.

Gallego: "They're going and racially profiling people and rounding up Americans until they can prove their citizenship. That money came from kicking millions and millions of Americans off Medicaid. It was the same bill. They cut Medicaid to expand ICE."

The only things keeping me going are audacity and spite

The only things keeping me going are audacity and spite

Survivors of the late child sex abuser Jeffrey Epstein released a video ad on Super Bowl Sunday, naming Pam Bondi specifically and saying simply, "We deserve the truth." #superbowl #epstein

DOJ investigating whether Denmark lied on its Greenland mortgage.

The collective noun for gatherings of 2 or more people is a nope.

Pritzker: The Insurrection Act is designed for circumstances where your rights can’t be protected by local authorities This is exactly the opposite. Your civil rights are being infringed upon by CBP and ICE, and then they want to call in troops claiming that they’re protecting CBP and ICE.

Dropkick Murphys are releasing a new song called "Citizen I.C.E." The lyrics go: "Too scared to join the military/ Too dumb to be a cop." consequence.net/2026/01/drop...

Scott Adams will be remembered for his famous comic Dilbert by some, but most will remember him for this:

AOC: I want everybody to understand that the cuts to your health care are what’s paying for this. You get screwed over to pay a bunch of thugs in the street that are shooting mothers in the face.

semi-regular reminder that ICE was only created in 2003 when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out

they abolished the department of education, we do not need a trojan horse to abolish ice we can just do it

👀 👀

the community theater’s production of ben-hur is gonna be 🔥

So, correct me if I’m wrong, but all you have to do to abduct a woman now is dress in camo, cover your face and have a gun and we have to submit or risk death? How are we supposed to know if you’re ICE or not?

“Ah good, you’re awake. Please don’t bother trying to move. Now, I just have a couple of questions for you. If you answer truthfully, this can all be over quickly, but if I think you’re lying, I will introduce you to my friend Klaus over there, and trust me, you don’t want that.”

In America you drop your kid off at school, get your brains blown out on the ride home, then the Vice President drops everything for a week to call you a terrorist, to slander your family, to protect the circumstances that led to your death so they can do it again. It is government by Alex Jones.

Political cartoonists are not fuckin’ around this week. (thread) 1. Pat Bagley

Trump talking about giving each person in Greenland $100,000 in US taxpayer money is incredibly America First. And he keeps sending fundraising emails to his cult promising them $2,000 checks if they send him money. At this point you can only conclude they like being hustled.

"Paywalled" is the word you're looking for. They didn't turn it off. The only thing that changed is X now explicitly makes money off CSAM.

today I have a zoom interview to be a penguin looker-atter at the aquarium, and if god has ever loved me even a little he will let me have this

i’m not sure “he keeps getting hit by cars he jumps in front of” is the defense they think it is

wow really helpful, thank you new york times