comfort foods

It is so easy to have the correct opinion today. I would encourage you all to not over think it.

timeline cleanser: Jair Bolsonaro getting attacked by bees

Let's Roll

Forgot why I made this

Your mid-30s are mostly spent wondering how much diarrhea is normal.

Waking up and looking at the notepad I keep by my bed so that I can record my fleeting nighttime thoughts. Two words, a message from Morpheus. "Movie Pawg."

Reupping this for the afternoon crowd

Happy Saturday, time to help our neighbors. ICE's illegal occupation of the twin cities continues to have impacts. I'm vouching for this gfm to support a family facing deportation action. Contribute if you can: gofund.me/ef3592d07

An auspicious omen for the state of Minnesota. Our teams are all making the playoffs. State Fair year-round. The BWCA mining company will be vanquished forever. Omar Fateh mayor of both Twin Cities. Ten thousand lakes and ten thousand years of prosperity.

Kid: Daddy... Primpker: Daddy what? Kid: Daddy what. Damn he's good.

Mr. Here To Crush Ass

Probably going to lose a fingernail on account of a hammer.

Jupiter Icy Moons Explorer Jup Icy Mons Explor Ju Icy Mns Expl Juicy Sex

This will be modded to include "17776 mode"

The party of, by, and for child rapists

The x-men are first and foremost make believe.

Refs love to change their mind a couple times. It feels good to them.

[Cat-like shape in the rafters, chewing on a dove] but a muslim president? Perhaps? Could it be so? [Malformed shape swaddled in rags] the voters will never! [Luminous eyes shining from a grate in the floor] they said the same of Obama! [From one thousand shadows] Obama! Obama! [Ecstatic howling]

If what you say is true, then a shrimp fried this rice!

Raiders give cte to cancer charity or something I don't know man

If I were a candidate for senate, I would invite everyone over to hang out with me.

And what of Swag

Feted a newly minted two year old. He likes professional soccer and playgrounds and hates getting water in his eyes.

Rahm is going to lose the rest of his fingertips due to shameful behavior, I reckon.

Everyone on a football team should have to take a shot when they score a touchdown. It would bring a new strategy to our American pastime.

I am blowing kisses to even the worst among you.

Susan Collins and rfk warbling at each other. Their oscillation syncs into a directed sonic weapon.

There Will Be Blood is Pink Flamingos for sad people

It's actually cool to be frightened

Nice wax. Rhapsodic?

Minor potentate so charmed by a mechanical bird whose movement and song is so lifelike that they demand the bird or else have a tradesperson executed is a beautiful story thst echoes through time.

Tripsitter for ipa.

Baby monkeys after being introduced to cloth mother:

The FBI is hiring me to train it's agents how to hang out.

Not the Shrike impaling my white ass onto the Tree of Pain

They're bring me over to Japan to teach their samurai how to jack off western style.

My dad's the shogun so you have to be nice to me.

Reading through the receipt, I mumble, "like a little story of our transaction, eh?" Folding it in half, "it says your name Kayla. Thank you, Kayla, for this 'receipt'." Leaving, I remark in hushed, arch tone to another customer in line, "they have receipts."

Nightmare medicine. Medicine that gives you nightmares and nothing else.