rodger nash

Just sat on my hand and now when I make circles on the palm with my finger it feels like my teddy bear is in someone else's garden.

We hate being the bearers of bad news, but that giant asteroid couldn’t come any quicker.

Monday.

Awful beat. #thecricket

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? #thecricket

Oh thank goodness. #thecricket

This is painful. #thecricket

read all your "jokes" about the clocks changing, that's an hour of my life I will get back

Reverse sweep to double century. Outstanding innings. #thecricket

I see Harry Brook has chosen violence. #thecricket

Cancel radio 1 you cowards.

Oooooft. #thecricket

Oh deary, deary me. #thecricket

Uh oh. #thecricket

Ooooh, unexpectéd cricket. Lovely. #thecricket

If I had a Tim Minchin I'd go back and turn off autocorrect.

I have 'the hiccups'. Please kill me.

Friday.

that time when someone in blue trousers was hiding behind a flag while Rishi Sunak gave a speech.

I put some fridge magnets on my fridge door and now it's covered in fridges

The AA having a totally normal one then.

Lads. We've been collectively duped into prejudice by the format of 'double yellow lines'. The incongruiy of any other colour is markéd. 'double orange lines' simply does not sit well. 'umber hatching'. Ridiculous.

Cheers m8

Night.

Remind me Toby of you

*Astonishingly* good gag - delivered perfectly; then there's a bit about michael jackson and pronouns. youtu.be/FzfxCAqLCIA?...

Big fan of elisabeth kübler-ross' dissemination of grief, but for me acceptance comes before depression.

“Controlling a plague is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman”

In the 70s Sister Sledge used to drive around in British cars. Their favourites were the Austin Music and Cortina Trap.

In your collective faces dweebs.

The Newsstand (2024) Oil and acrylic on canvas #art #painting #NotAi

Fresh bed linen, lads.

Happy 28th birthday to Google. Thank you for not being skynet.

I have just discovered that you can buy single-item-in-a-roll (e.g. sausage bap) from greggs and save the reward points for a 'breakfast item', then redeem the free breakfast item reward against a several-things-in-a-roll (e.g. bacon & omelette bap). I am like martin lewis. #comsumeradvice

Out for an indian meal this evening; i spotted an dessert that has a passing resemblance to hitler - so we went at nazi/confectionary puns and i managed 'eton hess'. Pretty great night tbh.

I have a sudden and quite unobtainable desire to eat baklava.

BBCSO 'kickéd the shit out of it'. Same for prouction. Solid. #lnotp

*built #lnotp

Right, here we go then. #lnotp

Separate the art from the artist. #lnotp

Realistically the only time i engage with the concept of patriotism is last night of the proms, with all the problematicism that involves; but serious question - obviously i'm in evening dress - should i be wearing an balaclava? Am i a true patriot without? #lnotp

Dear Gareth Malone, "i dusted off my choirmaster fingers" was a poor choice of words for what i think you meant. Yours etc. #lnotp

Right then... #lnotp and #cans