Sam Smith. Not That One.

I'm #autistic. I'm a stealth #disasterbisexual #xennial. I'm a perimenopausal part-time astrophysics student, full-time broadcast news flunky, with a gift for falling off (a) bikes when stationary, (b) shoes with anything narrower than a Doc Martens sole. Mostly, I'm tired. Happy Nearly the Weekend.

I suspect there's some kind of communication module you get when your kids becomes adults, which gives every message they leave sounding like they either have, or are working out how to give, the grimmest of news. My dad could give lessons.

@smolrobots.bsky.social Pumpkinbot's work?

This evening I have been mostly knitting shark's teeth.

Right, soldiers - let’s see if we can get this bad boy over the £10k mark before the end of October. Whether you’re a celebrity with silly money or someone with a spare fiver, every penny helps so much & you get exclusive show-related rewards www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/its-a-supe...

I'm in this post and I don't like it.

I think the small handful of Xmas cards I send this year will be Gail's, even if it means having to explain to friends in other countries why they're getting a picture of an English service station.

Hacky sacks.

This reached 2,000,000 views yesterday. Let's start nudging it towards three 😉

Got the text telling me where this armful's gone. *in Accrington Stanley?!? voice* Frimley??

Did anyone care if it might have been Vince? Or were we all crossing everything it wasn't Chelsea?

There's a bloke on the bus wearing an honest-to-goodness shell suit.

Ok what

What is the point, Royal Mail, of asking me when to try delivering something again if you then completely ignore that date, only to send me another sad little email saying you tried and failed when I told you not to?

So I can run in Docs then. *collapses in unfit heap*

In stage 1 OU science, we had a mini course on the weather. It drove our tutor daft, because it was the same point each year, smack bang in the middle of a season of these stuck spells, so most of our assessment observations simply read "grey".

Who planned a nice day out for a day when the heavens were attempting to compensate for this summer?

This but mature cheddar directly from the fridge

Fluffy grey longer fingerless mitts finished just in time for the cold.

when did body piercing become “this placement can elevate your ear curation” and not “put spikes in your body cos you fucking want to”

I mean, that's the thing. The discourse around accessibility is always "But what if someone who didn't need it used it undeservingly?" not "Now you mention it this is really fucking handy and everyone should have access to it."

The only way I manage to keep my temper regarding Simon Baren-Cohen's work is to purposely confuse him with Sacha Baron-Cohen and assume it's also a painful, unfunny, extended bit.

I'm so excited about this. Huge fan of everyone involved. But mainly Murderbot. I really love Murderbot. More Murderbot stuff please.

Despite the rain Epping Forest is still bone dry. I’ve never seen the V-2 crater completely empty before but it is after the past summer - I wandered in and not even a squelch of oomska in the middle. Pic by Dave Ma.

Gods I love my practice nurse. The screen tells me she's running five minutes late when I check in, 15 minutes early, for my flu jab appt. Barely got my coat off and sat down in the waiting area before she sticks her head around the door and tells me to come through.

This is honestly such bollocks. They are two distinct forms. There is so much bureaucracy and unnecessary seat filling elsewhere in the corporation - getting rid of the people actually creating the programming is totally stupid (see also the annihilation of work for TV freelancers in recent years)

Once again I have the memory of my friend Eve from sixth form throwing anything with a face at me (really) wherever we went and yelling, "MAKE IT COME ALIVE!!"

i personally don't believe you have to smile to look stylish. for instance: IG charlie_the_griffon

We were told by the scheduling person yesterday that the Christmas rota would be published today. I've been waiting since my 0700 start of shift for it to drop and only have about an hour left before I have to wait until SATURDAY for it. Do these people not understand Waiting Mode?

My friend Christina just called me at 2am her time because this made her so mad she couldn’t sleep. I understand her pain.

If you only glance at the picture like I did, you will also be forgiven for thinking, "if you could shoot fireballs out of your foot claws, you'd probably have a load of other fancy ornamental features too".

It is reasonable to be concerned that really smart LLMs could convince anyone to do anything they want, after all, we can all see that really really smart people have been outlandishly successful at convincing the rich and powerful to do something about climate change

I need to go and check if these have pockets or separate compartments. Look, I have a chocolate pocket in my work bag, alongside the tablets pocket and the keys / inhaler pocket, and the main storage bit. All crucial, they are.

Spouse: I don't know if you heard but all websites are bad now. I turned off our websites, I'll turn them back on when there's a patch. Me: ...it is 7 in the morning and "all websites are bad now"?? Spouse: well technically they were bad last night.

HT @jessothomson.co.uk (thank you). I'm Sam, and I use she / her pronouns.