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This is a direct threat to my lucrative career peeling fried animals off solar panels.

Hello, CIA? It's me, Cuban Dissident. Haha, yes sir, "hola" to you as well.

2nd layoff in 2 years. What a cool and stable economy we have.

Not now Kelvin wave

the quiet part out loud

We're replaying the hits

‘Wanted’ flyer-style wheatpastes now up in midtown Manhattan via the ‘Department of Class Solidarity’. The signage highlights that Benjamin Netanyahu is responsible for the U.S.-funded genocide of Palestinians. Comes ahead of Netanyahu’s speech at the U.N. General Assembly.

There's been a lot of division over the years, but I think we can all finally agree that Waterworld wasn't a bad movie.

It's cool that we have such few regulations left that food is recalled weekly if not daily

i'm not a huge fan of how everything is either literally or metaphorically on fire.

Benjamin Netanyahu is a war criminal.

Please share. There was a horrific attack targeting a queer couple in Mesa, AZ leaving them requiring surgery with broken bones and torn our piercings. Folks are working on positively ID’ing the attackers but for now, here’s a way to support:

They are preparing to fuck with the midterms, right out in the open, and everyone just stares, agape. The best the media can do is "unproven claims," even as it amplifies those claims. We are headed to a real bad place.

ICE killed another person.

Joan Sebastian Guerrero. Say his name.

This morning in Biddeford, Maine, a 26-year-old man said goodbye to his wife and daughter and left for work. Moments later he was dead, shot in the head by ICE agents, the second man ICE has killed in six days. ICE is killing our neighbors. ICE cannot be reformed. Abolish ICE.

The Iran War was Lindsey Graham’s Make-a-Wish

When AI Slop is going well

Gonna be really funny when Platner reemerges as a republican in a few years

you're telling me that the guy with a nazi tattoo might not be on the up and up? Shocking, truly shocking.

watching these goofs squirm and cry while desperately clinging to whatever power they've known is pretty darn funny.

Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It's not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.

I've started using :) along with my prompts to my AI agents at work, and I truly hate the "future"

and now, your moment of zen. 🎥 (https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYhEwUvv67q/)

ICE detained a longtime cook from the restaurant Güero in Portland. It’s the second time in recent weeks a popular restaurant worker has been taken. All of this is so crushingly pointless. Ripping communities and families apart for the sake of terror and an arbitrary line we drew on a map.

the cat is standing down in memory of his past life as an Italian anti-fascist guerrilla

A sad update from the peace talks in Pakistan: after 21 hours of discussions with JD Vance, the Iranian delegation have killed themselves

Where are the celebrities to sing Imagine when we need them?

astronauts go to moon asstronauts go to uranus dmv worker: please just read the letters on the chart

I'm sorry ma'am, but your son perished on Kharg Island in a valiant effort to create Wii Bowling meme videos for the White House X account. In the face of danger, he was not cringe; he was based to his last breath. Please have this commemorative Epic Fury challenge coin. Yes that's Punisher, ma'am

Tapper's so hard right now. He's thinking about writing his next war movie and book only now about Iran.

If there was any kind of an opposition party in this country, they would be having a field day right now.

Blocking every dem fundraiser text is an act of self care

Our tax dollars hard at work

Seeing a lot of cynicism on the timeline. What if this is one of the good wars?

Dozens of U.S. strikes on Iran. Dunno what to say now other than my thoughts are with the Iranian civilians under fire. What a nightmare.

Bringing out the Big Guns on a Friday night

me: can you write me a note that says why i missed work today arby’s cashier: *hands me receipt*