Dale "Assman" Earnhardt

It seems quaint now that we do all our banking and race science there, but, nevertheless, it's true: at one time, people mostly wrote jokes on Twitter. 10 years ago, I wrote one about an old asshole and it kinda changed my life. Not his, though. www.cnn.com/2026/10/01/u...

The Luke Getsy Offense

When you and the boys finish a long day of work at the Betsy Ross Museum and go down to Gay Hooters for some ice cold Zima and hot Ghazi wings but they're closed for Awareness of Food Loss and Waste Day.

Curb Your Enthusiasm music steadily increasing

I beg Dems to take this with both hands and absolutely bludgeon the GOP until the election on every single front

Eagles defense tonight

DeMarco Murray, Tim Tebow and Case Keenum exist in 3 separate eras of the NFL to me

For me it was watching a guy named Cade throw passes that flew like the ones my own 9 year old self threw.

Iowa GOP voters do not give a single shit and will overwhelmingly vote this slime in

Bears defense is ass except for forcing turnovers, how did the Eagles let this happen

Anyone that supports throwing money at Israel in Washington is complicit and should be voted out

Truly the most fitting thing to happen

After Ed Sheeran went through all that trouble to appease New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, he'll end up not playing at his stadium anyway. defector.com/even-the-wea...

Really enjoying explaining to the elderly in Wisconsin that yes despite you having Dish or cable that no, you cannot watch the Packers tonight on them. (Also applies to local channels owned by mega corporations that are beefing with the dish or cable provider)

LMAO

this is FAR more demotivating than some left wing shitposting or podcasting critic of the democratic party can ever be

Standing in a circle chanting "Better Things Aren't Possible" while doing the High Hopes dance

If he's out for the year I probably won't watch the rest of the season. I've seen what Bears teams look like with a shit defense, good run game and nothing at QB, I've seen this movie

God I wish Wisconsin channels did this

Carson Wentz is doing what? In the year of our Lord 2026? Against who?

Yesterday my 1st grade daughter and her friends were biking around and I heard one of them shout "6-7" and my daughter responded in the same tone "9-11" and I on autopilot shouted "Never Forget". I got the 6 year old version of this

Looking forward to nothing changing

As a millennial the Iraq war was when I learned America felt no responsibility for human life abroad and hurricane Katrina was when I learned it felt no responsibility for American lives either

Clubbed to Death mentioned

Naw man, Dolly, Tim Curry and Peter Cullen this week?

damn, thats the biggest dildo they've had to get rid of at a WNBA game yet!

Siri, show me a parent that will sign their dead kid's voice and likeness away for a BOGO lip/Botox combo

how are we out of missiles. Millions of people can’t have healthcare so we can dump it all into defense and we don’t even have the missiles

Raw dogging this by not seeing anything since Shang Chi and reading exactly 1 Fantastic 4 book written in the 70s

As a toon geek its like... surprisingly offensive to use THAT CHARACTER for some gender essentialism. While Bugs uses male pronouns he's famously a character which gender is effectively "whatever is funniest in the moment". Dude was a form of genderqueer before the term genderqueer was coined!

i appreciate how his response to stuff like this is not to be weird but instead to go "yeah try me see what happens"

Please don’t write in the newspaper 700 years from now that I got absolutely smoked.

Video of an ICE agent pulling a gun on a wife and mother, who is a US citizen born and raised in the area, near Bailey's Crossroads in Northern Virginia yesterday. Chillingly, they claimed she “almost ran them over” until she told them she had video proving that was a lie.

if i were a dem politician asked about hasan piker i would simply say “i will answer your question about the twitch streamer no one has heard of but first i would like to point out the president was best friends with the worlds most notorious child rapist and yall stopped asking him about that”

What the fuck

Cthulhu story where Miskatonic University goes anti-woke and they stop probing the mysteries of the Old Ones and set up a Charlie Kirk Free Speech Corner.

the upcoming elections are simply too important to be doing risky things like nominating muslims, opposing wars, standing up for immigrants and trans kids, or taking a strong stand against paramilitary squads summarily executing our neighbors outside their homes. i wish this weren't true but it is

The west fought the cold war specifically so that private, for-profit companies would have the power to abuse and humiliate us in exactly this way. This was the goal all along.

This utter muppet of a conservative Canadian politician in New Brunswick forgot to remove the LLM text from his floor speech and read it out loud.

I can't breathe the air, I can't eat lettuce, I can't afford gas, and my kids have measles. But at least now our soldiers will have enough testosterone.

Uncertainty surrounding Mitch McConnell is frustrating to establishment Democrats. They have all these anecdotes about what a collegial guy he is to work with and how fun he is to be around, but you need an official death for that shit to really land.

i will say lindsey graham being asked by a reporter how mitch mcconnell is doing, answering “i don’t know, i’m going to check right now” and then dying is hilarious

I've decided to be a better person and no longer wish for Lindsey Graham to die.

Lindsey Graham died in the bathroom at Gay Hooters after consuming too many Benghazi wings. Rip in Piece