Dr. Jewish Space Laser

Vivek Ramaswamy siding with a child rapist is the least surprising development in MAGA world.

Hey Ted, what are you looking up on PornHub?

Man, the other social networks are so quiet the last two days. I wonder what it could be... In all seriousness, I've noticed the difference. Everyone has.

My 5 Least Favorite Films 1. Moonfall 2. G.I Joe (1987) 3. Gummo 4. Pulp Fiction. If you try to convince me this film was great, I'll forever think of you as mediocre. I am dead serious. 5. Gone With the Wind. Spoiler: nothing happens. It's a 3-hour-long antebellum screen saver.

Does everyone remember that Family Guy episode where Lois ran for mayor? youtube.com/shorts/JWl-3...

Does Lindsay Graham's sister have any political qualifications or experience, other than wearing the same size red lingerie? I don't count saying "yes" to Trump. I realize women telling him "yes" is unusual, but that seems mandatory in today's GOP.

Mitch McConnell offered the following statement on Lindsey Graham's death: wlasaaau. wlaaaauuu. glug.

I spoke to Mitch McConnell for about 20 minutes this morning. He said wlaaaauuu. Wlaaaaau. Wlaaaau. Glug.

It's the Gummo sequel no one fucking wanted.

Good: * Black Sabbath's first line-up (1969-1977) * Motorhead's last line-up (1995-2015) Not Good: * Goatse (1999-2004) * A browser bomb website I wrote that spammed Goatse popups (2004-2010) * Windows Me (2000-2006) * MCI (1983-2006)

What would bring crowds back to Turning Point USA rallies? (1) Raffle for J.D. Vance's couch (2) First 1,000 guests get free Charlie Kirk pez dispensers (3) Live demonstration from that "influencer" who thinks Hammer Smashed Face is a beauty tip (4) BlueSky adding polls like it's 2015

For the curious, the top figures all appear to be GI Joes. From left to right: L: Beachhead/Snake-Eyes mash-up CL: Cobra Commander with goggles C: Nemesis Enforcer with a different head CR: unknown, but don't Google "GI Joe with a pocketknife, SCUBA helm, and an erection" R: Literally Storm Shadow

Local zoning is the way! A lot of these are being stopped or stalled by neighborhood organizing. These warehouses often need to be purchased, permitted, approved for occupancy and specs. Each one of those steps can be interrupted. Ppl are pressuring corps not to sell, counties to deny permits, etc

If Trump really kidnapped Maduro, it's cactus-league George W. Bush antics. No one person runs a country. We found that out the hard way the last time we did this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2002_Ve... apnews.com/article/vene...

Why is no one asking how an Afghan national from Bellingham, WA got a firearm in (or to) Washington, DC? Even US citizens don't know "where to find a guy" 3000 miles from home. apnews.com/article/nati...

This is how an idiot confesses to a crime: "The Democrats were Epstein's friends. All of them." Trump was a registered Democrat from August 2001 through September 2009. thehill.com/homenews/adm...

Mamdani wins. www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCQZ... Flawless victory.

"Unprecedented" has become how the left says "woke". Same meaning ("anything I don't like"). Same tone deafness (the other side doesn't see it as negative). Same smug self-assurance that one word can delegitimize anything. Same tendency to make the speaker sound objectively dumber.

COLD HARD FACTS: 74% of political violence is perpetrated by far-right extremists. ONLY 4% is from left-wing extremism.

Do not be bullied, cowed, or shamed by bad-faith right-wing actors and MAGA that are blaming "liberals" and everyone who isn't MAGA for Charlie Kirk. Call them out for their hypocrisy. Go on offense. They are fine with political violence and mass shootings when it's against the rest of us.

the people who mocked and made up shit about the attack on paul pelosi have thoughts about decorum and we should definitely take them very very seriously

Does it seems a little odd that the party that violently attacked our capitol is suddenly outraged with political violence?

"I think it's worth (it) to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment." -Charlie Kirk, 2023-04-05 "I think empathy is a made-up, New Age term that — it does a lot of damage." -Charlie Kirk, 2022-10-22

New mommy, please don't fight with weekend daddy... apnews.com/article/trum...

This is who they are. President Pakled, everybody.

I knew J.D. Vance was toxic, but... apnews.com/article/vati...

I got my PhD 10 years before I was diagnosed autistic, so I don't know what Brainworm Kennedy's on about, but ... sure, "potty training". Weird way of asking to be peed on, and very much not my thing, but good luck with those golden showers. people.com/rfk-jr-claim...

What the fuck is with these AI generated action figures everywhere? You know what my action figure would be? A slightly tall middle aged guy typing vitriol into a laptop 'cause he thinks he's funny. My GI Joe code name is Cobra Keyboard Warrior.

How it started. How it’s going.

How it should've gone: Zelenskyy vs. Rapey Don (warning: clearly and obviously AI-generated) www.instagram.com/reel/DGqoIkT...

"We cannot leave the security of Europe in the hands of voters in Wisconsin every 4 years." - France Minister for the EU

A gentle reminder to Trump's handlers: "Cognitive decline may cause dementia patients to be more prone to yelling, making rude remarks, and even turning violent." www.agingcare.com/Articles/cau... Reference: thehill.com/homenews/adm...

I'm sorry that I do not have a diplomatic or "proper" response to what's going on. I just feel like a lot of people need their asses beat. The time for words has passed.

A reminder that Facebook auto-transferred the official POTUS, VP, and First Lady accounts at noon Eastern time. Unless you really want to hear from Agent Orange, Mail-Order Melania, and that hedge-fund fake-hillbilly couch-fucker, go ahead, alt-tab over, and block all three.

I am a climate scientist and this is correct ⬇️

“Will pay any amount.” Feels like one of those futile pleas we’re going to hear from wealthy people more and more in the era of climate change.

The same party that ran on eradicating the Department of Education now demands to know why Americans are so stupid.

President-elect Musk is really setting down the marker of how he wants to run his administration. VP Trump better pay attention.

You don't say. Got any more of those "expert witnesses"?

Sigh... queue the Onion headline: ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens... I lived in Madison for 3 years. Only place I've lived out East that I'd live again. No one deserves a school shooting, but Madison especially doesn't...

Once upon a time, not the entire internet was 4chan. Only 4chan was 4chan, because everywhere else would kick you out for Doing 4chan in their spaces. It sounds utopian, but it is true.

That's more like it. Now declare Puerto Rico a state.

Ah. Yes. Very sad. So how is your local sports team doing at sports today?

So it turns out rebels with no air force or long range weapons are the ones who can capture a country in 3 days. I remain a master strategist.

32% claim denial rate, blood of thousands on their hands, etc. Can't imagine what the motive could be.

100% accurate.

New Rule: You shall not complain about Hunter Biden's pardon on my feed unless you also admit the Supreme Court pardoned Trump for a coup.