Ron Penis

For us Millennials, it used to be we had Dane Cook, Drake & Josh, and Dax Shepard. But now… ✅ We can’t cook. ✅ We drink 𝒥𝑜𝓈𝒽. ✅ We’ve forsaken our shepherd!

I've lost interest in my solitaire app since embarking on adventure alongside Cecil, Rydia, and their friends and allies

"Habibi Funk jazz reissue sister label" is probably what i would have wished for from a genie but now i don't have to

they're putting something in the water in england that's making all their morons extra transphobic and all their musicians unbearably lame

guy getting gas in front of me at costco looks like evil Mike Nelson

she must be Gutenberg the way she move my type

U can milk me

oversaturation and an unfortunate association with kanye has blinded many to this fact but Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger is one of the best songs of the 21st century flat out

there are too many injustices, big and small, in the modern world to count, but at least we seem to have gotten back more or less to weekly release schedules for tv shows

gracie abrams tour presented by capital one

oakland

i would swear under oath that the met gala happens like every 4 months

Trolling? You mean imp poster syndrome?

Me when Hiromi starts playing 'Yes! Ramen!!' on Saturday night: Yes! 'Yes! Ramen!!'!!

she process my vulkan til i shade

as i understand it, life is a series of emails you don't open. and then you die.

you could not pay me enough

[getting rejected at the bar] that's fine. actually my boys and i were thinking of diminishing and going into the west

Matt Groening: In my show I invented the Nacho Hat as cautionary tale The Rangers: At long last, we have created the Nacho Hat from classic Simpsons episode Don't Create The Nacho Hat

started watching that new scrubs season. something to look at while you wait to die

everyone is now guided by a simple three word principle: "not me though." not me though

VENEZUELA DEFEATS THE UNITED STATES TO TAKE HOME THEIR FIRST WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC CHAMPIONSHIP 🇻🇪🏆

Yeah I’m excited about Dune 3. Dune 3 chicks at the same time

thinking about shawarma this morning

despite all my rage I'm still just a bitch in a cage

ahwatukee economy: 50% vine wall cursive neon sign restaurants 40% Montessori schools 10% trader Joe's

of course I'm on good terms with my ex! i just sent them a copy of rick Rubin's The Creative Act for their birthday!

homie went to the crick for a swim nobody seen him since

drheadpumper • 1 hour ago Great news my head is now 55" across and 70" tall. Pictures soon. Feels great to inflate my head. chuy_da_man • 55 min ago you have so teny head , shit eater drheadpumper • 52 min ago Do you have a job? Or an IQ?? Stop following me if you hate my updates so much. BASTARD.

Dear you, I’m am spaceship. Together we will $1,00,00,00,00. Remember to pack GoodFood for eat in Spacd

I'm hearing through the grapevine that French's is planning to soon announce "French's Lawless Honey Mustard." I usually don't put stock in rumors like this, but I can't deny that the idea has got me excited.

doing the right thing will always be right regardless of whether anybody can witness or recognize it

I'm as ready as I'm going to be.

Some people were confused by my ICE post. This should clear it up.

For every sports post I see, I cast ten venomous homosexual spells into a humongous violet gem I will shatter on the day of the super bowl, releasing its evil to every last corner of this sickly world.

one of my opinions with the biggest AOE is that if you drive over the speed limit in a city you're an impatient moron