Post

Why not siphon your entire slack history into a vibe-coded survival horror game, as an induction tool.

My coworker gave themselves the brain damage that NFL players get by falling of horses over and over.

“My mom died from a brown recluse bite.” In turn, I had to bite my tounge.

had a coworker in the room nextdoor who disappeared, later heard at the watercooler that he joined ISIS, became a semi-big deal, and died in a suicide strike, does that count

"He was a character, they finally fired him after (the janitor) came across him in the building after hours doing laundry naked... the second time."

(A true story with slight embellishments for the sake of cinema lore.)

I think it’s cute that you call the voices in your head “coworkers”!

"my mom stole the settlement money from when I was riding my horse and got hit by a semi. Can you turn the heat down?"

"The elders say that the Garments of Tila are under a curse, but I like the way the sun shines through the vinyl mesh..."

beyond the implication of controlling behavior, being into Tila Tequila in 2026 is a very specific type of red flag (the one with the swastika on it).

If you had an outfit like that, I would gladly trade [3] BATTERIES for it!

If that isn't fetish related that is a red flag

Trashy reality tv person, did some weird stumping for Republicans? For shame. But sex workers are still workers and deserve dignity.

Oh man, this is like when my coworker was like, "I really appreciate [husband], because he expects me to be at my best. He'll be like, why don't you put on makeup, just look at yourself, you're not even trying. He cares!" It was like...whoa, lady. He cares, alright. Not about you!

I'm doing the Harvey Birdman "looking at date" thing right now.

Omg

I forgot. Is she even sentient anymore?

I saw this in the wild when working an unnamed grocery store, it happens. but it was also a survival horror experience in maine so you might be right

One time my friend told me this story. He works as a fork lift guy if that matters. He said this older guy approached him and said,"hear those birds in here...isn't that neat?" And if that isn't a context clue for a puzzle I don't know what it is.

And then it all makes sense

This is something dwight schrute would say

I think I'm the lore drop person at my work, actually.

I have a coworker who hit the million+ jackpot on slots, ran through it in like 6 years while her husband was dying, and now donates plasma because she pays taxes at a property that she doesn't live at, and has a dog she boards because her landlord was mad it tore through a door.

That ladder jumpscare is burned into my brain forever

That's environmental lore (and a good one). I think op was referencing character lore.

re: workplace/ product, i am convinced that to understand a large multi year software product, you need three parallel stories: the official story of the thing that was made, the soap opera of how it ended up that way, and the forbidden cursed lore that you could get fired for talking about

Some managers who came over from another studio started telling jokes in a meeting yday about someone they worked with that they called Tumor Boy??? pls help i think I am in a Bioshock.

Haha, we did that while we were at university. Also old Crimean War-era military bunkers from when they thought the Russians might invade Australia for our valuable reserves of white people in proximity to Asia.

This one was based in Sagle in 2001. It did not have a federal component, this was all black helicopter paranoia directed towards child/family services doing a welfare check because the eldest daughter had left the compound and realized how insane her upbringing was. There were something like 8 kids

Oh my god are you from Silent Hill (Centrailia)?

"My family all might have rabies, but we're going to go to the hospital, so it should be fine"

“The woman who sat at the desk before you move to San Francisco to find her daughter who disappeared. We haven’t heard from her either.”

Shoutout to mine for being like "one time i went to jail was for a robbery ring and a guy told the cops i was the ring leader. I got caught of course and its not like i could deny it, bro confessed every detail. So i dud jailtine for that too." Then showed ne a "robbery kit" in his trunk and oml

I like to try to be that coworker. ...probably one of my coworkers would say I've achieved that goal. but idk, the rest of us all agree he's kinda weird, so it's a difficult metric with which to work.

Like I have one co-worker who was the receptionist at a ponzi scheme in the 90s. One time she walked in to her boss’s office and he was stuffing $100 bills into a CRT computer monitor.

As opposed to the little fleshy protective cap.

What do you mean your mother was put in a convent in Germany during the war?