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okay dad 🙄

I thought this was a free country, communist

I think it’s maybe the quantity and the fact that you can’t control them if you are holding them with your knuckles

Damn devs just can’t help them Leve with the endless power creep trying to get us to fomo buy

but what if we get hit with enough gamma radiation to gain superpowers

wait it's not supposed to do that?

Yeah if this is wrong I don't wanna be right

As a kid, I was afraid of sparklers and similar fireworks. My Mom was like "Oh, come on! They're safe!" A post like this justifies trusting my gut, thank you CPSC!

US Consumer Buzzkills ftw

Oh. This is fine right? I think this is fine.

maybe tell your Orange felon boss?

Thank you for your attention to this matter! I will be sure to point it out wherever possible, but until then, I will leave a link to the coverage of this problem by GamersNexus: gamersnexus.net/gpus/12vhpwr... Also, you can often find reports of failures on Reddit: www.reddit.com/search/?q=12...

USCPSC being the only part of the US government worth preserving part 48387498

I wasn't planning on to, but now I kind of want to.

mmm yummy thermite

Well except the wolverine part.

Fuck you OSHA

ok mom

What about putting a snake in my nose and lighting it?

I almost lost an eye to a sparkler when I was about 7. A wind gust blew a sparkle into my eye. If I hadn't gotten treated right away, it would have burned its way into my eyeball. It also hurt like hell. Be careful with these things.

Why

Seems like a choking hazard

You will take my sparkling Wolverine claws from my crisp, smoking hands

The one leg up really seals the deal on making it look fun 🤣

Just needs a little speech bubble going “Whee!”

So you dont recommend bottle rocket tag 😅

The chemistry set we had as kids included making sparklers, though the flaming glue distracted a bit from the burning metal. I guess modern kits no longer include fun stuff like potassium permanganate anymore? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potassi...

@elizabethbsf.bsky.social

Not quite sure why I still have my sight. But you can see a little bit of the scars on my eyelids if you look carefully. Don't trust the kids with fireworks.

What if it's Susie's Idea

You're very lucky we aren't Dutch about the fireworks, US Consumer Product Safety Commission.

you’re not the boss of me

Aw, phooey

I... have definitely done the Wolverine Sparkler hands before. More than once. I have never gotten burned, but also like. That doesn't make it a wise chose from my childhood. Was lit as fuq in the moment tho. (But really, don't do it.)

Then quit making it look bad-ass!

Lol how's the government making me laugh in 2026 I feel dirty

Seems like it’s probably fine for like a cousin to do though

You're not my dad

What about putting them in my nose and/or ears?

thank u us product safety commission i almost put them in my cheeks like a walrus but thankfully you have instructed me that’s bad

Can we get a shout out for not shooting Roman candles at your girlfriend when she's trying to pee? bsky.app/profile/luan...

The best fun is the fun you don't remember isn't it?

👍

Fucking stop me

Don't tell me what to do

You are so not the boss of me.

Is this hypothetical person the Fonz? Or Springsteen? Or Danny Zuko? There's a lot going here

A black leather jacket? In THIS weather?

(She’s not out of my league either)

The big one here is kids think it's cute to stuff a firecracker into someone's open hoodie