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"Can't Hold a Candle" "Doesn't hold a Candle to __" puns are in here somewhere

This one is my eternal favorite of the genre:

Ngl having a burning flame on both candles seems a bit on the nose

🤢

“Buc-ee Beaver never forgets! Also, dont forget its two for one cake balls on Mondays!!!”

Wait until you see what happens when the candles burn for a while

This is astonishing There were so many preproduction points of intervention and they were like Yes flames and twin towers

I can't think of anything more stereotypically American /derogatory than "this was a horrific and traumatic event in our history. How do we do a Consumerism about it?" (Obviously not all Americans, but somehow nearly always an American)

$70??

How do I keep finding MORE commemorative 9/11 candles and flames? This is depraved. Depraved!!

There was a *lot* of 9/11 kitsch sold in tourist shops in NYC I remember seeing around 2003 or so

and those cowards didn't even place the wicks sideways, poking out of the floors where the planes hit, to recreate the fireballs and then have the candles collapse realistically

Jet fuel can't melt candle wax.

No they didn’t. I refuse to believe my own eyes. Sigh

This one fucks hard

also a fun metaphor for the subsequent decade

Collapsing in on itself As good a metaphor as any for what we did to ourselves in the aftermath

holy cow it took us 2 years to come up with Freedom Fries en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom...

sorry / not sorry

momentarily confused "jim shore" with "jim davis" and was like…

ahaaaahahahaha sorry but this is hilarious (yes I am a terrible person)

Extremely bad taste.

This is how drill spent so much money on Yankee candle

Jet fuel cant melt candle wax

A lot of very tacky people are going to discover that resin can be highly flammable.

Just gonna leave this here. youtu.be/WFmHe2ytEKY?...

that's practically normal even if it is the coward's location for the candle

It’s a realistic interpretation of the day, once it burns about 1/3 of the way down

American Exceptionalism: "being the best at milking one bad thing that happens to us for political points for 60 years until the next bad thing happens us."

you just know someone pitched that

This is exactly what popped into my head 😂

Jet fuel can’t melt wax candles