Post

Faine Greenwood
@faineg.com

I love hanging out with my parents because they are great parents: have these parents considered trying “not being terrible parents”

Michael Hobbes@michaelhobbes.bsky.social

This is a quietly metastasizing moral panic

Faine Greenwood
@faineg.com

also this nails it. people have been quietly cutting off their horrid family members since the dawn of time, it just used to be easier to get away with it unnoticed before we had instantaneous global communication. bsky.app/profile/lasr...

Hipster Vampire Amy@lasrina.bsky.social

Kind of hilarious how they’re acting like this is a brand new thing because Woke and not possibly part of the reason people have been fucking off across the sea in extremely fragile oceangoing vessels since the dawn of humanity, though

Faine Greenwood
@faineg.com

You didn’t have to come out and SAY that you were packing up your ocean-crossing canoe to search across the seas for a new land just to get away from your awful family, but you know that had to have been a FACTOR for a lot of history’s intrepid explorers and settlers

Faine Greenwood
@faineg.com

mfs out here being like “if I have to see my uncle Teuira and my aunt Uira one more fucking time on this tiny island, I will drown myself in the sea, so guess I’m packing up the outrigger canoe and brushing up on my star navigation”

Faine Greenwood
@faineg.com

“Oh, there’s a frozen land bridge leading to uncharted territories across the Bering Sea now? Where my horrible family won’t follow me to judge my mammoth spearing technique ever again? Sign me up.”

33 reposts662 likes

Sebastian Braun
@mitakuye.bsky.social

I get the sentiment, but that is definitely not how that happened. Also, I wonder why that is the example here, and why it is not some temper tantrum throwing Puritan child getting away from Europe.

Sebastian Braun
@mitakuye.bsky.social

Yes, I am. Some jokes have consequences, though. And jokes about Native peoples as primitive children have led and lead to rather brutal consequences. Most Americans think that the sketch of history you posted is not a joke or if it is a joke it is not too far from reality.

J. F. Meskimen
@j-f-meskimen.bsky.social

Current consensus is that there were waves of migration by sea over tens of thousands of years before and after the “land bridge.” Curiosity about what’s on the next island, familiar to all paddlers, was probably the main driving force

Faine Greenwood
@faineg.com

“Dad, I have HAD it with your incessant urge to shit all over my flint-knapping technique, and Grandpa did NOT do it better: I’m leaving all you assholes behind on the shores of Lake Tanganyika and dispersing the hell out of Africa.”

Faine Greenwood
@faineg.com

ancient Neanderthals growing tired of their parents judging their foraging technique and running off to a whole new biome with the cute homo-sapien they met at the watering hole that their parents absolutely hate

Carol Mitchell
@caroljmitchell.bsky.social

"She's Leaving Home" - eternally true, just rewritten with the global, multi-era equivalents of "Friday morning at nine o'clock she is far away / Waiting to keep the appointment she made / Meeting a man from the motor trade." "Fun is the one thing that money can't buy" doesn't even need a rewrite.

Mike Freeman
@mfreeman.bsky.social

No basis for it, but my favorite theory (can’t remember where I read it) of global dispersion is because early humans were more ASDish as a whole and when someone annoyed them they just moved away.

Pavel
@spavel.bsky.social

Doing linguistic drift to the language I speak so that if my relatives show up in a few hundred years, I will no longer be able to understand what they are saying

Stephen Clarke
@stephenclarkehist.bsky.social

"Nobody needs to see a fancy new Mammoth spearing technique, Dear." Just keep doing it the way your Grandad did it, It's the way his Grandad showed him. Our family spear Mammoths the way Mammoths are meant to be speared. Don't embarass us Dear.