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swimming straight to ibiza in record time i'm sure

The fish would not stop talking about cryptocurrency

it needs to stop surprising me how people react to the headline without ever reading the article

"Not only did they not act like normal fish, they acted like fish in this river we didn't think had cocaine in it, which means it does have cocaine in it, meaning the humans are ingesting so much cocaine that the water treatment can't filter it all out, and then the rivers are full of cocaine fish"

Massively underrated comment.

If they knew the whole story, they'd probably be grateful for the Wastewater Based Epidemiologist thats in their lives. Talk about a thankless job 🤓 🔍 💩 💦

give cocaine to piranhas you cowards

You will never be this good at writing grants

They started a business?

GUYS, LISTEN, WHAT IF WE SWAM THE OTHER WAY. HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT’S THE COOLEST THING ANYONE’S EVER THOUGHT

yeah.. this timeline sucks..

This was actually an awesome study and showed that fish are way more affected by cocaine AFTER human use (and disposal aka #1/#2) and throws off their location. Means they could try spawning in the wrong areas, which could lead to a lot less fish

"We'd never observed a fish smoke an entire pack of cigarettes in the wild"

That's a lox bagel I'd like to try

Today is the day our salmon became president

When it’s time to spawn And you want to swim on…

the salmon kept trying to sell his screenplay

Did they weave really weird webs?

Unplug humanity. We’ve gone too far as a species.

They started talking about their idea for a screenplay?

Talked real fast?

And were these scientists locked up on a mandatory minimum?

I would have been happy to reach that conclusion and prepare the report for 1/3 of whatever it cost.

I'd be intrigued to hear of these "several ways" cocaine gets into our water. In sufficient quantities to intoxicate fish.

more like a FUNNY use of scientific money and energy

youtube.com/shorts/HfnGP...

So...Cocaine Trout movie coming next?

They sold sub-prime mortgages to themselves, friends, and others that couldn’t afford even half of the mortgage amount? You caught them fingering their teeth often? They have odd dorsal fin ticks and too often scratch at their noses? No? They just swim fast?

Duh! And in other news: water is wet.

lol! I didn’t catch the humor but when I heard about the story, I pictured the scientists teaching salmon to snort little white lines. :)

Did not they already make a movie about a Bear doing cocaine ?

they became more susceptible to hookers...

duh

I really hope no government funding was involved in this. I really don’t want to hear: They’re giving crack pipes to fish! Thats why we had to cut all funding to everything.

The salmon "YOU GOTTA CHECK OUT THESE YOUTUBES MAN, THEY'RE HILARIOUS!"

"I want to spawn everything that moves."

And WHY are we trying to turn fish into junkies, exactly?🤔🤔 Ummm….BTW, people are dying of cancer every day- just sayin’