agingerpun.bsky.social

Making unhealthy things healthy is all well and good, but have you tried making healthy things unhealthy? You can put anything in a pastry.

The label of the cookies and cream protein milkshake advertised at my gym says "no added sugar" presumably because cookies and cream naturally contain sugar.

The sad truth. Women aren't angry enough.

With all of the money and effort going into mining and selling off our personal data for advertising, you'd think one of these companies might show me an ad for something I want to buy. It's almost suspicious how bad they are at this.

the reason “AI will create so much abundance we will have a utopian society” rhetoric falls so flat is that the people building it will never, ever share their bounty unless it is taken from them and we all know it

Man who won’t give his employees piss breaks claims many piss breaks on the horizon

I do my best proofreading right after its to late

For everyone who spent #MeToo fretting “what if this goes too far?”—be of good cheer! It turns out we didn’t go too far at all! It turns out we didn’t nearly far enough! Good job guys!

FACT CHECK: TRUE

Man Who Lost Everything In Crypto Just Wishes Several Thousand More People Had Warned Him https://theonion.com/man-who-lost-everything-in-crypto-just-wishes-several-t-1848764551/

Another day of dudes who say "But false rape accusations could ruin a man's life!" Looking dumb as hell when clear cut obvious cases of rape gets no consequences whatsoever.

Cornell Vows That Rapists Will Be Forced To Write Much Longer Essays In The Future theonion.com/cornell-vows...

Why women choose the 🐻

Creatively Tapped-Out Peter Thiel Launches Startup Called ‘Frodo, But Evil’ https://theonion.com/creatively-tapped-out-peter-thiel-launches-startup-called-frodo-but-evil/

HOLD MEN ACCOUNTABLE.......💪🏻

The thing about the taxpayer funded propoganda ad that doesn't get talked about enough is how threatening it is. Extinguishing "communists" from the country "once and for all"? Wtf. Then they came for the communists, and we were all fucked because they neither know nor care what a communist is.

Hey hot take but I actually don’t give a fuck if expelling a rapist from school “ruins his future”

💯

Always hilarious to see Jake and Logan Paul wearing suits at official events, like when people put clothes on dogs to pretend they have jobs

"Eggs expensive under Biden" was a story for six months. "Trump made everything expensive on purpose" is apparently just a Trump personality quirk we're all supposed to get used to.

Your regular reminder: If the Russians stop fighting, the war ends. If the Ukrainians stop fighting, their land will be occupied, their leaders will be killed, their history and language will be erased, their children will be kidnapped to serve Russia.

As I was standing by this gas pump filling up my truck with six dollar gas I couldn’t help but think that this was a small price to pay so that every child wanting to play sports in elementary school has to submit to mandatory genital inspections

If you're wondering who all this pumpkin spice shit is for, it's me. Mind your business.

China and Russia cannot believe their luck The US elected a president so corrupt and inept that he is actively helping to degrade US influence and power around the world

I hate “legitimate interest” as an online cookie signifier. Legitimate to whom? The guy tracking my online activities to sell ads? Well I have a legitimate interest in that guy fucking all the way off.

TEXANS: Found yourself on the voter suspense list? Don’t panic! ⚠️ If you're registered at your current address, you can still vote during the next election, you will just be asked to complete a statement of residence to confirm your address when you vote. 🧵 (1/2)

I love the protein fad because I have always wanted my food to be more expensive, have more calories, and taste worse.

I like that this design appears to show the birth date of liberty as 1776, and its death as 2026

The problem with looking for recipes online is they are either 5 000 calories or 112.

Does signing up for this automatically sign the kids up for being victims of sex trafficking or is it like a lottery system?

If you shoot someone who is face down on the ground 10 times because you fear for your life, you're a weenie.

#Epstein #EpsteinFiles

There's still a small chance one of these guys will get visited by 4 ghosts and change his ways.