Billdozer303

I just think when some guy from YouTube ruins his own life by being a dipshit, I should get to continue not knowing who he is instead of hearing about him all the time!

Which means there are those out there who believe crochet terms aren't whimsical enough. Humans are weird

getting older is realizing that candy corn, in fact, is good

Congrats to new White House Press Secretary Kate Zacharia on a great first day

Old people say the dardest things

Can’t wait for this decrepit MF to get out of office. November is important. Vote vote vote FUCKING VOTE

I hate capitalism kotaku.com/valve-steam-...

tracing Japanese managers challenging an ump’s call, I’ve watched this 500x

The Intimate Toilette (A Woman Urinating), by François Boucher, 1760s

Damn, WTW needs to add 10 to keep the pace

Have to let Tank Girl (our husky) lick the extra yogurt off the spoon before I start blending my smoothie for breakfast

FBI Hack Exposes Thousands Of Employee Records https://theonion.com/fbi-hack-exposes-thousands-of-employee-records/

Wait til they hear 'Brotherrr' from Wortht he Weight, this fall. She'll be really bummed out then

Dog Can’t Believe Guy She Hooked Up With 10 Years Ago Now Head Of FBI https://theonion.com/dog-cant-believe-guy-she-hooked-up-with-10-years-ago-now-head-of-fbi/

*whispering to my grandma on her deathbed* why are you following taco bell on facebook?

I respect our British culture. DO YOU?

Need that Checkers & Rally's

Create-a-player but you skip changing the name

Pete Hegseth Deploys 3,000 U.S. Troops On Beer Run https://theonion.com/pete-hegseth-deploys-3000-u-s-troops-on-beer-run/

if they would have done this in 2016 he's still be the guy from Home Alone 2

Steak ’N Shake Employee Screams After Nude RFK Jr. Climbs Out Of Beef Tallow Fryer https://theonion.com/steak-n-shake-employee-screams-after-nude-rfk-jr-climbs-out-of-beef-tallow-fryer/

You’re right—that plane shouldn’t have gone there. That’s my fault, and I should have made sure there wasn’t a terminal in the landing path. Would you like me to call emergency services, or assist with lining up takeoffs?

And here's my band scouring police auctions to get ourselves into vehicle to play shows ourside CO

There's something about waking up with sore/stiff hands after jamming a riff repeatedly to get the muscle memory down. Fuckin love that

Colleges could subsidize books for students rather than paying for premium versions of ChatGPT

Trump Promises To Take $5,000 From Every American If Democrats Win Midterm

LAST CHANCE to experience The Onion's 9/11 issue the same way a terrified nation did 25 years ago—in print. Become a member, and get your very own copy of this historic edition. http://membership.theonion.com/totepromo/?campaign=701cx00000u2buUAAQ

It's the fall, so that means a-woo school starts again. #husky #awoo #dog #dogs #dogsofmastodon #dogstodon #humor #humour

A murmuration of starlings above Sardinia, Italy. One of my favorite natural phenomena.

Fox News part ways with everybody's drunk Aunt

"That dude's a peice of shit. He puts onions on everything!" - Worth the Weight

Bonus points to the girl who takes a backhand to the face

Not sure what's more embarrassing. That he represents my community and hasn't done anything since taking office, or that enough of our community voted for him in the first place.

Man Watches In Silence As Wife Reveals All The Things She Brought Home From Store That Aren’t Cheez-Its https://theonion.com/man-watches-in-silence-as-wife-reveals-all-the-things-she-brought-home-from-store-that-arent-cheez-its/

Shreddin

Looking up from my workout to see Jared Polis on Fox News. Fuck that dude.

Freshman Congressman Being Adorably Discreet With Corruption https://theonion.com/freshman-congressman-being-adorably-discreet-with-corruption/

“Here, beneath my humble shirt, lies the future of hyperintelligent AI integration.” — Mark Zuckerberg

And we’re the cucks? These are the super tough guys?

Happy Friday everyone