Jon Danziger

One of my favorite days on the calendar: the blessing of the animals, for the Feast of Saint Francis. We welcome any spiritual nourishment for our dog, who peed and pooed on the church lawn. His friend Honeybee tried to bite the priest, though - thrilling not to have the worst behaved animal.

This headline structure is literally the joke format we use to make fun of people like this

You’re gonna want to see what the BlueSky guys have decided is too intolerant for you to read.

Bluesky has four kinds of users

Jumbotron just showed a sign that said "Move the Hawks game, put the women in prime time."

Nothing says self-confident like serially talking about how self-confident you are, how you have SO MUCH self-confidence, do you see? Do you see how self-confident I am? DO YOU? Also, how does my ass look, good, right?

About the Author:

"90-minute horizontal videos" - Instagram invents movies www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/dig...

#prayformarielle

The window’s dirty The mattress stinks This ain’t no place to be a man

what if i started posing for photos with my family’s clean folded laundry the way people pose when they catch a really big fish

Fuck this team. #jets

Retirees want to stop paying property taxes

a green new deal president and they redecorate the white house like rainforest cafe

Barack Hussein Obama never won a made-up Man of the Century Award, check and mate, losers

Cinnamon is filth.

It’s thrilling how she checks her notes to make sure she gets the location right. Katie Zacharia’s album didn’t sell a lot of copies, but everyone who bought one became a C+ fascist.

I’m a monstrous husband, but at least professionally I’m extremely creepy and unethical.

Get out of that cave, girl

Headline of the week

This new electoral vídeo from Pedro Sánchez is quite something. Standing in front of Guernica defending the anti-war stance of his government, limiting military expenditure, denouncing the atrocity of Gaza. English subtitles.

Mrs. Miller complains that Dems want to [checks her highlighted passage] prosecute those who committed federal crimes

Please, no more posts about Ethan Klein. Just 48 hours ago I had never heard of this person and was SO MUCH happier.

Obviously total bullshit, but I do like that the story they're going with is that Melania has (professionally, anyway) cucked Jared and Marco.

It's extremely weird to me that Paul Annacone, Taylor Fritz's coach, is a broadcaster for one of Fritz's matches. The broadcast isn't hiding the fact, and there's no pretense of neutrality. But does anyone think we're getting Annacone's full candor? Is Annacone the only available analyst? #tennis

The other night I blew out a candle, therefore I saved Toronto from a devastating fire.

The whole history of movies is available to us in a way that would have been unimaginable.

Take; eat; this is my body.

#bransennn Perfect lip sync as usual 😂

Cartier-Bresson lives, my friends, and tonight he is in Milwaukee

Drake dressed like a yenta

Excited to learn from Yglesias, Carville, Rahm why this is bad

cry more, bitch

I'm supposed to be grading a floor-to-ceiling stack of midterm papers, and my T. A. is NOT HELPING