alexis simpson is confused by display name changes

reskeet if you think @mcuban.bsky.social should give @dumb.baby one million dollars

its a neat idea but like in the same way a flying car is a neat idea the people making AI arent seeing the inevitability of a 20 car pileup in the sky, theyre jsut seeing “wwo car fly”

learning chemistry by posting nonsense jokes and getting corrected

me: pendants annoy me him: why? me: they think they know everything him: I think you mean “pedants” me: *under breath* fucking pendant

LA-area folks who support reproductive rights, here’s a great way to do it! Shop at LAGRH’s holiday boutique on 11/7! Tackle all your gifting needs, stock up on baked goods, and pick up an emotional support chicken or two.

salsa is a soup

not all of my dumb jokes are scientifically accurate tbh

“Do you think God ever farted?”—Brett Favre

I know there's a lot going on but I feel it should probably be more of an above-the-fold story that members of Congress released a thoroughly documented report directly accusing the president of the United States of being a serial rapist.

“you don’t have to post every thought you have” no shit i worked very hard to hone a poster’s mind capable of thinking postable thoughts and cultivating the habit of posting everything i think. i’m putting in the sweat equity

perhaps a Brewers World Series title can fix what a Cubs title broke

mr peanut shell half on mr peanut no shell mr peanut sex tape mrs peanut mr peanut see through shell mr peanut stepmother the elegant mrs cashew mr peanut nude

REMEMBER: somewhere, out there, someone is sincerely googling "mr peanut sex tape"

this is actually the ideal posting state

stayin alive, christ... makes sense when you think about it...

(fingernail tapping sounds) hey everyone, today i'm unboxing the viral Hello Kitty coffin

the amount of info and data that you can store in your breasts is called titabytes

Bluesky has four kinds of users

There was a Bible story where Jesus opens his mouth and thousands of bees come out like Candyman, but it got cut. Not a lot of people know that.

“You don’t want to know what I would do with it if I didn’t post it”

"you don't have to post every thought you have" well that is news to me

it should really be called The Pedantry Conflict

the "Bee Gees" was short for "Bee Geesus (Christ)." they couldn't spell very well. still a nice message i think

"lectern, not a podium" versus "trebuchet, not a catapult" in: THE PEDANTRY WARS

reply to this with a pic of your dog sleeping on their back and ill criticize their technique

this halloween, remember to check your kids' candy for poison

I live in a rural town and, like, I don't know how to tell you this, but the girls play on the boys team and vice versa all the time because otherwise we don't have enough players for a game and it's literally always fine so stop being weirdos about kids sports and just let trans kids play.

bad news. it’s actually kind of nice to log off and get your chores done

Omg no, he was so young. Damn. He was such a talented voice actor. It’s on the mind because I literally just watched it yesterday, but he got asked to do the taken monologue as porky pig and its a masterpiece

It's National Lie Down For A Bit Day