🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪

me: pendants annoy me him: why? me: they think they know everything him: I think you mean “pedants” me: *under breath* fucking pendant

"with all due respect" no bill 𝙮𝙤𝙪 fuck off

"with all due respect" no bill 𝙮𝙤𝙪 fuck off

if you’ve got nothing nice to say, say it with interpretive dance

after I post I make another little post so the first one doesn't get lonely

Disappearing under mysterious circumstances sounds nice

Pumpkin Spice Chloroform

SOMEONE'S GOING TO GET HURT IN THIS SITUATION AND ITS NOT GOING TO BE ME *its totally going to be me

What if I want to adore you instead of the moon, what then

Sneaking a bite out of all the potatoes in the produce section

meh, I’ve seen fuller moons

Thinking about going to prison so I can learn to play the harmonica.

A guy in a cloak with sharp fangs keeps knocking on the door, asking to be invited inside. I told him not without an offering of cheese.

Frankenberry is the name of the doctor

post-post-posting

butter things are just around the corner

I fear that the best years of my life are behind me, and they want revenge

Bringing all the skeletons out of the closet to decorate with flair

Oh my god that was so exhausting -me making plans 9 days in advance

"lectern, not a podium" versus "trebuchet, not a catapult" in: THE PEDANTRY WARS

Two weeks in a row of feeling normal would be a fucking dream at this point.

I have the kitchen pantry of a grandmother raised during the great depression *flirting*

Not all that jazzies is Jeff

Another impossible beauty standard for women

Make sure to brush your conservative party to prevent truth decay.

Give a man a fish. They both needed a friend. No longer lonely, the two become unstoppable

Sex so good, I now need a chiropractor… and a priest.

It’s not a dildo, it’s a placebo-ner

pop n lock your way to a more injured you

Another one for the trophy case, @professorkiosk.wtf! Thanks to @miseryhighlight.bsky.social. 🎊

Proud to have been mocking verified accounts for over a decade

Trophy time! @professorkiosk.wtf thinks @ashhull.bsky.social nailed this one. 🎉

No horror movie has ever scared me as much as my phone ringing when I'm really baked

For Halloween I'm dressing up as a cutie patootie with a side of anxiety and just a dash of depression