Diesel of Sarcasm

Never buy wind chimes or hiking speakers which won't fit up your ass.

The flying, razor-sharp CDs sliced open every last student and faculty member in a chicken basket

How much hopium would a Woke Bill smoke if a Woke Bill could smoke hope? Would you believe winning senate seats in FL and LA? youtu.be/Rho5Qsf5fvg?...

A serial rapist was elected twice as President, a fact we don't reckon with nearly enough. Now one of two major political parties has been molded in his image, run for and by violent sexual abusers who hate women.

Frankenberry is the name of the doctor

Trump is heckled for a third time at his speech in Mississippi: "SHOVE THAT BALLROOM UP YOUR FAT ASS!!"

When I say I love Cheesecake Factory, I mean this cat who was found malnourished and wandering through a Bay Area mall parking lot. Cheesecake Factory has since been rescued and nursed back to health. He's now healthy, vaxxed, & sweet, but still needs a loving home www.petfinder.com/cat/cheeseca...

you write 500,000,000 in ARABIC NUMERALS you slack-jawed brain-dead carbon sink of an undead racist, go try and prove germ theory wrong firsthand by huffing e. coli cultures

Give a man a fish. They both needed a friend. No longer lonely, the two become unstoppable

I know there's a lot going on but I feel it should probably be more of an above-the-fold story that members of Congress released a thoroughly documented report directly accusing the president of the United States of being a serial rapist.

JD Vance: "Gas prices are too high ... they skyrocket every time some tinpot dictator decides to throw a tantrum"

Trump is BIG MAD about Obama saying the White House now looks like Saddam opened a Cheesecake Factory: "He's not a smart guy. He's not smart at all ... for you to say it's a Cheesecake Factory, that just shows why you were a lousy president"

Almost a quarter of European airline pilots fly when too fatigued to work

Soccer requires, mobility, balance and skill with the ball. And then you have to use your brain to anticipate passes, opptys. I was bad at mobility, but could pick out passes. The problem was teammates zoning out: was often passing to open people whose minds were elsewhere. Our coaches sucked.

I think one of the best aspects of this story is just how *average* the cop is. This is pretty much what most cops are like. They believe they are doing a good job.

I am just so taken aback at how badly this product is being sold.

This is my friend Flaco. I call him resident stray number 2, though I think he was a neighbor’s pet that fell out of favor due to his hair trigger temper and his truly remarkable speed with claw and tooth. He’s my favorite source of savage wounds.

Congratulations to everyone on Bluesky: Tonight's election result in Brazil confirms your priors, no matter what they are.

Hungary Serbia Brazil Please let us be next

Ngl the fact I will probably never have kids while some folks have them and are completely disinterested in their development fills me with a mix of rage and despair

Oh so a country *can* choose not to make the same mistake twice

Congrats to Lula on overcoming Mark Zuckerberg and Donald Trump to defeat Hospital Pervert Jr., even as his opposition literally blocked off roads and turned off bus service during election day. Fascists are scary but they are always, 100% of the time, ultimately gigantic fucking losers.

search engines that added AI generated search summaries using shit models that run on page load instead of increasing the model size and having it run on demand instead actively made public perception of AI capabilities more inaccurate

American conservatives are constantly bemoaning the decline of aesthetic standards and calling for a return to tailored suits and classical Roman architecture, but are now forced to defend the Cheesecake Factory. A constant tension between the Brooks Brothers patrician and the Kid Rock populist.

For an event which killed between 5,000 and 7,000 people, the Nepal flash flood departed the news cycle pretty quickly.

I’m at 19. Would never go near vinyl records - have you met those insufferable poseurs?

Things have really gone to shit here in the states but at least I’m not British. Americans take breaks between hitting our dick with a hammer. The British have just been doing it nonstop for over two decades.

the UK is just cooked. seems like every boomer there has taken up NIMBY as their retirement hobby because god forbid people have access to affordable groceries

ELIZABETH: I’m not really familiar with the Sugondese people either. NATHAN: Okay. BILLY: I hear you Nathan, and your line of questioning is valid. But I think what she’s too nice to say is that if the Sugondese won’t assimilate with our culture, they shouldn’t be allowed in our country.

youre laughing. he poked fun at the decor of the cheesecake factory and youre laughing

Here I am with the winner of Clacton's annual 'Point At A Twat' competition.

This seems like a big deal

Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo!

Guys we found a way to make the electoral college Even Stupider bsky.app/profile/gapi...

*takes out one earbud* so do I got the job?

Shingles Doesn’t Give One Solitary Fuck

Look at this bullshit: “Walked two miles” - in a row? In a week? Without wandering off into a field and waving to no one? Clearly AI slop. What else do you notice that tips you off that this is some weird MAGA masturbatory fan fiction?