Em Splem

My mom had a colleague whose new police officer husband expected her to wash and iron his uniforms. She sweetly complied, ironing all of the trousers flat. Never asked her to do it again.

As I recall, business owners in Nazi Germany got annoyed when their Jewish workers were rounded up because it meant a dip in production.

The new Chair of OfCom has rather oddly suggested I should set up a left wing version of GB News. This suggests he doesn’t quite know what his job is. But I have taken him at his word. app.prospectmagazine.co.uk/story/75420/...

The dog's just got up and walked away in disgust #TOTP

Google continuing down the path of enshitification.

Bubble, anyone?

Oh my DAYS

I can't be the only person who, when I see mention of JD Vance, vaguely thinks of JD Sports?

The UK truly are the Greeks to the American's Romans

The grammatical 'colon' and the anatomical 'colon' are not etymologically related. The anatomical 'colon' comes from the Greek ‘kolon’ which means “large intestine.” The grammatical 'colon' comes from the Greek ‘kōlon’ which means “limb.” Both are a means to an end.

Such a fabulous discovery and such a lovely little interview cut short.

The judge, Mr Justice Caulfield, in his summing up, asked why a man with such a fragrant wife would sleep with prostitutes. "Is he in need of cold, unloving, rubber-insulated sex," Caulfield asked, "in a seedy hotel round about quarter to one on a Tuesday morning after an evening at the Caprice?"

The best day to go to the beach is the 1st of October because it's dog liberation day and it's lovely to see them all let loose.

would thi prisoner in thi bar please stand fur thi aforesaid crime uv writn anuthir poem awarded the certificate of safety by thi scottish education department … —Tom Leonard from GHOSTIE MEN, in INTIMATE VOICES: Selected Work 1965–1983 (Etruscan Books, 2003) #poem #poetry #NationalPoetryDay

I wish that BBC etc would stop having the headline: "LIVE someone famous dies". It really is jarring.

I want my country back. By that, I mean a country where I would be confident that a thug who livestreamed himself stabbing an RNLI dingy on an active operation would a) Be universally condemned b) Be swiftly arrested, put on trial and if found guilty, face many years in jail. I miss that country.

Just had a Phoebe Buffay experience with a fire alarm that wouldn't stop. No battery, no way to stop it. Dog whimpering, ran outside and wouldn't come inside for ages. Once I'd stopped it, dog finally came inside, jumped on the sofa, fell asleep and farted.

Look at the language used in this headline: "Anti-migrant activist arrested over video of dinghy slashing". Activist! Language matters and that is shocking choice of language from the BBC.

A beautiful late September surprise.

This times a million. Plus, stop the 10 minute preamble of 'what we're about to show you', the lingering arty time-filling shots, the constant musical background and the celebrities on their free jolly hols pretending to be interested in the subject. Programmes with intelligence and without filler!

Maybe there is a benevolent deity after all.

I think what we've learned is, you need to pick your support acts carefully.

In the movie version of this, after Piddington runs out of food water and money as a result of leaving the UK, the residents apply for asylum and end up housed in a military base, with HILARIOUS consequences. www.bbc.com/news/article...

The first sentence here explains why England is the home of Nonsense Poetry

a great letter in the times today. perhaps worth sharing in these troubled times. #RNLI #heroes

Soon it will be no time for gathering in gardens All too soon, my dears, it will be the weather For Brahms quintets, for leaves drifting 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦 past the windows… —Peter Davidson, “September Castles” from ARCTIC ELEGIES, @carcanet.bsky.social 2022 #poem #poetry www.carcanet.co.uk/978180017263...

Betteridge’s Second Law.

Beginning to think we might want to worry more about out of control tech bros as compared to out of control AI.

Name checks out.

I think it's a sign of the strength of far right feeling in this country that many of those at Dover and Portsmouth gave up their weekend of supervised contact with their kids to shout at lifeboats

Went to the local garden centre and saw this cack. HOW much?

The most absolutely massive flex from the state fair exhibit. This quilt is made of 40 years of prize ribbons from various categories at the New Mexico State Fair won by Carol St. Clair Johnson. She also won a prize for this quilt.

The Ig Nobel Prizes were awarded this week for humorous yet thought-provoking research. This year, the ceremony came with a twist. n.pr/4cnz08L

Arguing.

The solution to prison crowding is not more prison cells. Burnham needs to look at why the prisons are full and address the causes. Here are some. 🧵

Beautiful.

Reminder that Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 is a film about three women taking over an office and introducing free childcare, paid vacation, and flexible hours, resulting in a 20% increase in productivity.

It's #InternationalDogDay and this mutt can't believe that someone has cooked chicken in his house and he's not allowed any (his guts can't tolerate it, despite what his appetite says).

Dolly Parton was so ace in so many ways, but this is just so lovely.

The swallows were hunting in the last of the sun. Disco stitching over bone dry grass.

Latest photo of the sky. This morning as the sun broke over the horizon.

Vuelta hotel flooded with five star reviews after 🇸🇮 Tadej Pogacar leads peloton to shelter 📰 www.domestiquecycling.com/en/news/vuel... 📸 Cor Vos

Microbiologist Elizabeth Hazen (b. #OTD 1885) & chemist Rachel Brown were granted a patent for Nystatin, an anti-fungal med in 1957. In 2016, it was the 217th most prescribed medication in the US w/ >2MM prescriptions. They gave all $13.4MM in royalties to a fund that heavily supported #WomenInSTEM