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Fun Fact: Edvard Munch actually painted The Scream after having to listen to John Smoltz for 40 seconds

This is your brain. This is your brain on John Smotlz.

I’m not a political journalist, so was gladly surprised at the community I found here last night. To Americans anxious about the upcoming elections, a key thing we learned in Brazil that might help you: DO NOT engage with the far-right online. Don’t share rage bait. Amplify your people. Ignore them.

I just want to name that people overcame this. Even against a stacked deck, the good fight is worth it. Win or lose, it's worth it. And sometimes the good guys win.

It's really important to pay attention to the fact that Lula beat the fascist candidate not by compromising and trying to meet fascist voters in the middle, but by sticking to his guns, promising prosecutions for election interference, and mobilising his own voters to turn out in greater numbers.

Eat shit to fascists throughout the world.

Paul Hollywood just said, “Self-saucing puds” and it’s the dirtiest thing I’ve ever heard.

In high school at football and basketball games, my friend and I used to do this not very funny bit where we’d pretend to be doing the worst, most obvious play by play of the game. “Just you watch, the team that scores more will win.” Stuff like that. It was better than John Smoltz.

Seriously, guys. Smoltz needs to be put in a home or something.

The United States has done plenty of terrible things. But nobody deserves John Smoltz. Nobody.

John Smoltz on the mic has to be an 8th Amendment violation

🍻🍻🍻

I can’t cook in a dirty kitchen. But after I clean the kitchen, I don’t want to cook so I won’t have to clean again. The Ethan Hunter story.

I don’t know what the greatest movie of all time is (It’s probably Casablanca) but any serious list of the top ten would have to include Army of Darkness. Hail to the king, baby.

LIKE TO CHARGE REPOST TO CAST

lol. Of course he is!

punkin dunkin

My dogs are sadly not getting younger, despite my requests, so this week I bought a new bed frame to lower the bed for them - despite both frames being "king" the new one is ≈ 4 inches longer than the last so, as you probably guessed, now all my toes are broken They're worth all the toes, though.

Being the "best AI for novel writing" is like being the best sandpaper for wiping your ass.

This is 100% correct. But everybody on traitors seems to believe their job gives them super powers. You’ll literally hear shit like: “I’m a dentist. I spend my whole life looking at mouths. I know when they’re filled with tarter buildup, and I know when they’re filled with lies.” It’s amazing.

Im still a little freaked out by how gross this is. Though if you told me Carson Daily was always just AI I would believe you.

There a completely AI slop ad playing on paramount that’s clearly just trying to scam elderly people. And I think that’s an AI Carson Daily????? Cool world!

🍺🍻🧹🧹🧹🧹

When the Red Sox dumped Dustin May I really thought he was through making me want to vomit

How are we pronouncing this, guys? Soulmate-tey? Like a pirate?

AI is conscious AND it is my girlfriend AND it is my slave. A perfect scenario for me, a normal person. Not gonna think too deeply about this. Now do all other living human people deserve the level of investment devoted to my Tamogotchi slave girlfriend? Not so fast.

Think about how little your representatives have said or done to defend their colleague Ilhan Omar. Now try to imagine how little they will do when it's our turn.

Just peed in the same bathroom as a guy who was loudly pooping while even more loudly watching what sounded like a Spanish telenovela on his phone at full volume. Banning that shit is a bathroom bill I could get behind.

I'm sorry but if you're criticizing someone for reading any actual literature or watching films in this age, you're on the side of the boot. I don't know what else to tell you.

9 years ago, in our first year of dating, a lady gave me a condolences card & a lovely mug to make me feel better after the Red Sox were eliminated from the playoffs. Obviously I married her. The next year she got to see the most dominant Sox team in history. The years after that happened as well.

Watching David Hamilton play now just feels like more and more proof that Cora was dogshit at his job. Just gallons and gallons of puppy poo.

Go 🍻

So Danny Trejo was manipulated and tricked into being in Ben Shapiro's newest film. Holy shit.

I’m ok. Make no mistake: this is an attempt to target political enemies and weaponize federal law enforcement. For ten years, Trump has targeted me with baseless lies and smear campaigns. This is just the latest escalation in his campaign of political intimidation. I will not be silenced.