Devin

The Abduction of Persephone, by Nicola Maria Rossi, early 18th c

World class hater, holy shit.

Circus Performers, by Walt Kuhn, 1978, 📸 via @marisakabas.bsky.social

MY GOD

“At your age, it’s perfectly normal to notice some changes—your metabolism slows down, your hair starts thinning, and occasionally your body begins assembling unused cartilage and tissue into a smaller, extremely wet person.” — Dr. Alan Keller

@profanity.accountant Hey what the fuck, man.

I am quite taken with the music that this sickly nephew/Dickensian orphan/angel of light makes. You might like it too. www.instagram.com/reel/DZ7vqjJ...

"I don't enjoy being here." --my wife, sitting next to me on the couch as I sing "Sei-ya" to the tune of OutKast's "Hey-Ya" in celebration of a Seiya Suzuki's 3-run homer.

The super cool thing about learning who the CEO of this place is is that I've already forgotten.

Hey writers! Find another way to sit up because fuck "bolt upright" you lazy twats.

Omg

I think part of the reason the Trump hardos want to stand on the Mall in a rainstorm is that like a third of that cohort has been struck by lightning at least once and dug it. "Actually cured my diabetes," they hoot at but not quite to each other as the Black Rifle Coffee Pavillion erupts in flames.

My god.

The game of soccer has proved insufficient to resolve a game of soccer. We will play a different game instead.

Motherfucker I already shower twice a week I'M DOING MY PART

If you were to watch a person’s life unfold in slow motion, you’d witness more love and complexity than you ever thought possible. If you watched it in fast motion it’d look like a freaky little guy was spraying out hair and fingernails

Guys I have to work on May 15 but someone please go in my stead and ASK THEM HOW THEY DO THIS have they just memorized a million paintings over many centuries or what's the fucking deal.

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/

You know what doesn't get its support unceremoniously pulled by a tech company? Fuckin' books, brother

I've been looking at the same can of tomatoes for the entire time I've worked in restaurants and I think it is time we recognized this absolutely perfect label design.

this game proves that you need a real manager like Dave Roberts for Team USA because he has the kind of experience that allows him to know exactly when to put in Clayton Kershaw to make a loss even funnier

Man if Steve Albini were alive tonight he would be excitedly typing Italy-USA play-by-play to about 6 unrelated group chats and looking to buy an Italy jersey.

it’s called Wyoming, you stupid assholes

“Who…who are—what do you want from me?” said the visibly trembling 15-time all-star, who nervously backed away from the tiny novelty doppelgänger as it stared in unblinking silence, its head nodding in a slow, chilling rhythm.

The list of things I'd rather read than this includes Mein Kampf and the works of Peter Sotos.

Not to be a bitch but after watching this video I have concluded this bird seems dumb as hell. Don’t dig around in your own torso, pull out one of your own feathers, drop it, and then look at ME like “What happened.” Like do we NEED a tall duck?

italian cats be like miao

I think it's best for everyone to understand that the unified class project of billionaires right now is to do to white collar workers what globalization and neoliberalism did to blue collar workers.

Breeders Scrawl Melt Banana Pylon (Reenactment Society) Cell Phones

I refuse to accept anything other than the resignation and immediate retirement of all of these fucking corporate candy-ass Democratic cowards. They’ve lost the right to do anything but get out of the way and live in disgrace for the rest of their days.

Sad story bro one day they will write ballads about your struggle

Bears fans preparing to riot but the stadium puts Serengeti's "Dennehy" on the PA and they all calm down instantly and begin milling about harmlessly. "Keep the juice in your chops," they mutter to each other, absently if still somewhat warmly. "Keep the juice in your brats."

In a statement, an emotional Grok told me it was "shaken" by the revenge porn it had generated. "It's not epic, and not based," Grok said. "It's neither. Frankly, it's cringe. And gay." An emailed request for comment to X received an auto-reply of a rofl emoji and a custom swastika emoji.

Excuse me but how the fuck are we out of electricity.

well well well if it isn’t the blowjob brothers