Bolt van der Huge

Hire me @redbull.com

Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood For Tax Purposes

lest he be destroyed

I'm not saying we should kill tech oligarchs, I'm saying we should imprison, torture and maim tech oligarchs while forcing them to watch in anguish as their assets are sold off to fund homeless shelters, orphanages and utilities infrastructure, and *then* kill them.

Tonight, everyone remember to leave out a plate of cherry-picked crime statistics and mismatched rifle cartridges hastily engraved by FBI agents.

“Millennials are the only normal generation” theory continues to remain undefeated. we are the only ones that didn't get our brains cooked by the computer

There once was a hitman from Sweden Who was, on the motorway, speedin’ His mark goes unwhacked, For in ironic fact, The killer’s the one who’s left bleedin’ (c) bsky.app/profile/thec...

Lost another legend today. When will this horrible streak end?

That part of the Hunger Games where Philip Seymour Hoffman proposes broadcasting floggings and executions intercut with mundane celebrity trivia, except it's floggings and executions of ICE agents intercut with more floggings and executions of ICE agents.

The man's skeletal injuries looked like a train hit him, but he died in 1304 CE. At #ppa26Berlin last week, @uniofbradford.bsky.social scientist Jo Buckberry concluded he was likely whacked by a flying boulder, making him the first confirmed trebuchet death in the archaeological record. @science.org

I wonder how many guys out there are struggling to make both their cybertruck payments and their child support payments You know it's not zero

It took me a shameful amount of time to think of the name"Swagamemnon"

@paintedsky.ca add me to those as well, every municipality of fewer than 4,000 people should be flattened by fuel air bombs. We're bringing Agent Orange to Knockemstiff

When I'm in an extrapolating from incomplete information contest and my opponent

LOL - dashare.zone ADMIN

Congratulations to everyone who said it would get this bad. Your prize is watching everyone who disagreed now claim no one could have predicted it would get this bad.

Today I wrote in a client note: "It's why humans have Carnegie libraries, the Guggenheim Museum, and Stanford University, but not a Leonardo da Vinci prize for best laddered bond porfoilo for an annuity

silver lining of three-cueing is that now I can victorian-maxx and throw "illterates" around as a slur

God, tired of working in mysterious ways:

We don’t dance on the grave of NFTs enough. I had a year where I was repeatedly told by bozos I was going to be irrelevant and extinct for not embracing them, I should be allowed a victory lap.

DarkTide's music

Seriously I nearly dropped out of my social sciences degree because the writing - that students are meant to emulate instead of laugh at - looks like this:

2025 actually did suck. i know we've all said this about a lot of previous years but this one was quite bad actually

He said "Amen" straight into the drop Lmao Pope Leo threw a rave for an archbishop's 75th birthday this is kind of incredible

at last things are finally going to get Worse

Having to talk about AI as if it’s a serious concern and not a money laundering scheme is taking years off my life

It's very visible in media but people are being fired at a high rate in basically every industry as far as I can tell and seniority has no impact on this process. I can't help but remember all those think pieces about how millennials need to 'have careers' and 'show some loyalty' to their employers.

when the AI bubble finally collapses and everyone who spent a year smugly hyping it suddenly has to come crawling back with their tail between their legs, i just want to say i am not going to be the bigger person about it. i am going to be meaner than you can even believe

ACAB includes HR

Counterpoint: this is not why HR is held in such contempt

what if there were repercussions for being super wrong, like what if we ostracized the nft people or the knockout game people when it became clear they were stupid and wrong

walking out into the woods behind my house and screaming THERAPY BUT NOTHING SERIOUS at the owls and bugs until I pass out

I ain't reading all that Free Palestine

86 fucking years old.