Idiot Kitchen

vote with your pussy

8 AM POST: just watched my neighbor throw a real mario powerup in the dumpster 8 PM POST: (IMAGE OF WOLF SMOKING A CIGARETTE) i have to lock in. 8:30 PM POST: what if it was spelled "penice"

instead of "getting on a soapbox" we're calling it "standing a Soapy B"

mold princess shroomin' it up

happy piss day to those who piss

When the homie's producing vile ichor....

are you still a pedestrian if you don't like feet or diddling kids

they're roasting & mashing your ass in potato chat, playboy

(imagining a big oafish man with a huge gap toothed smile and a sweet disposition named ‘Humble Gus’) I wish Humble Gus would get maimed by a dog

Cheesecake Factory menu got everything. Friends with benefits. Mouse salad. Twizzlers. Bison stew. Cheddar bay biscuits. Etc

olive a sudden

the student turns thoughts into posts. the master thinks only of posts. the sage posts without thinking at all.

started the washer but forgot to add laundry sauce #boneheadmove

sailing to juckport

parallel universe where Digg became popular instead of Reddit

dont believe me? Fuck you

your moon is untied

your attacks are not very effective, playboy

inshallah we will become meat 🙏

guy who gets patriotic and prokaryotic confused

ascending to the top of a tremendous mountain, gasping for air, barely able to ask the wise hermit the best way to get 99 smithing in Runescape

🪦😔🙏💐

starting up a blackmarket blood doping operation for people who get lightheaded when they stand up too fast

asking my mouse roommate what he's getting up to this squeekend

make sure to check your kids' Halloween candy for heroin and razor blades

The Wheel of Time books are the ones to read if you want to hear about the "greasy taint" without reading chuck tingle

stopped at the bodega in Hammerfell and they want THREE SEPTIMS for a Baby Ruth this kingdom has gone completely to ruin

Judge Holden Caulfield

You wouldn't begrudge a chef or an OBGYN for licking their fingers now and then so don't expect every piece of Halloween candy I purchase to make it into the hands of Trick-Or-Treaters

Did you know that if you drink nothing but Goron rockwine for three days straight you can kill a Dodongo just by pissing in its mouth

the government took all my blood out, stretched it, and then put it back why is nobody talking about this

Hidden Valley Cola

you're telling me a chicken boned this broth?

I just drank a whole bottle of Chinese food

Man this PHP vulnerability is serious

cats get paid meowrly

come getcha meatloaf

pick up your sword, pimp

laying out a platter of Seafood and Chicken flavored Temptations for my esteemed guests