Giraffe Car!

Giraffe Car!

@jenbrucker.com

Some folks: Demure & Mindful Me: Obscure & Spooky Serial Re-poster "I never said I was nice."

734 followers1.9K following1.3K posts

Stay out of his woods and his lake, and leave his momma alone, and you'll be fine. If I ever found myself in the woods around Crystal Lake, I would let Jason carry me to the main road. The only reason I would be there is if someone chased me there...I feel Jason would understand that. #CrystalLake

Listening to 1979 gets more sour every time Billy has a new hot take. Here's the thing Billy, I was in college 1979 came out. Meanwhile your wife was a baby, but yes older women are the problem.

Giraffe Car! reposted

America's poor cops are so overworked they barely have time to beat their wives :(

The Atlantic@theatlantic.com

“In recent years, many Americans have decided that their country’s problem was that it had too many police officers, when in fact its problem was that it had too few,” Malcolm Gladwell writes:

Pamela Voorhees said, "Autoimmune disorders, NO, thank you, I'll get revenge and see you in HELL!" Personally, I agree that you SHOULD always stand up for yourself, but as we are not in the 70s, get some DBT/CBT therapy and take that nuclear vengeance down to just making your point. #CrystalLake

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Tesla has been having plenty of trouble with "regular car that works in a regular way" so if you get in one of these you fully deserve it when it inevitably explodes catastrophically and you get turned into the stuff they put into Churus

Yahoo Finance@yahoofinance.com

"Flying cars are real!" 🚀 Elon Musk and Tesla showcase the new Roadster.

Pamela always stood on business when people hurt kids. Grace's mom was abusive; Pamela HANDLED her. Loving #CrystalLake

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IDF soldiers are illegally invading American shopping malls to scam old ladies and the mentally disabled with fraudulent spa charges of upwards of $50,000 a pop. I swear, if one more bad thing comes out about the IDF I'm gonna strongly reconsider my support. www.npr.org/2026/10/14/n...

npr.orgThe skincare scheme that led to consumer complaints, lawsuits and a federal investigationFree samples, high-pressure pitches and $50,000 bills: An NPR investigation reveals how a network of mall skincare stores systematically targeted older adults and people with disabilities across the U...

Professor Ian Duncan: "I thought you had a bachelor's from Columbia?" Jeff Winger: "And now I have to get one from America." #Community #howisthisreallife

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📚 100 years ago today, Winnie-the-Pooh and his friends opened up a book to their enchanted Hundred Acre Wood. 🍯 🧸🐝🐰🐷 Read the full extent of their stories from a century ago at the Internet Archive. Courtesy of the #publicdomain.👇 archive.org/details/winn...

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men take note of who in this story comes out looking genuine and respectful and who comes out looking like a strain of syphilis that was granted a wish to become a real boy

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Looks like an earthquake...so glad I have to constantly hear boomers and some gen x people YAP about how this is all fine.

Prof. Eliot Jacobson@climatecasino.net

As of October 7, the preliminary Niño 3.4 sea-surface temperature once again rose above 30.0°C. Below is a graph showing a timeline for the Niño 3.4 SST for every day from January 1, 1982 through yesterday. The Climate 8-Ball is busy calculating p(Doom).

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Replying to @comicbooksniffer.bsky.social

There's still time to back the campaign, pre-order your copy of #SHRUB, and/or share the campaign with others via the link below! Kickstarter campaign link: www.kickstarter.com/projects/fan... #Shrub #Comics #ComicBooks #FanbasePress #CreatingFandoms #StoriesMatter

kickstarter.comShrub: The Collected EditionHit the road with a sentient SHRUB for Fanbase Press’ cross-country adventure exploring grief and connection.

Their computers were always MID at best, glad I was only ever gifted one and never paid money to fund this *gestures vaguely in the direction of* what I am TOLD and led to believe is Susan Dell.

Schooley@schooley.bsky.social

Just another day in the Presidency as directed by Fellini.

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Texas executed Jamaal Howard by lethal injection exactly one week after Tennessee tried and failed to do the same to Christa Pike. Howard’s lawyers tried to use Pike’s horrific experience as a reason for a stay, but the courts said no. Beyond comprehension.

theguardian.comTexas kills man in first US execution since botched lethal injection of Christa PikeJamaal Howard, 46, executed by fatal dose of pentobarbital after lawyers’ bid for stay had been denied

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i don't imagine there are news outlets that would be interested since it only affects twitch streamers and we are lower than dirt, but the new AI "content warnings" that twitch has introduced for sponsored streams are crazy. it monitors what you're saying and pings you if you say a word like "beer"

So much for supporting the troops, I guess. San Diego is a HEAVY military town and LA CARRIES so many states financially. Oh well at least if we get nuked, I will have a view of the San Gabriels and not a view of NOTHING in fucking Nebraska.

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com

Trump: "With the war, it's just artificial. It's a little bit high. It's a small price to pay ... let them take out Los Angeles, let them take out San Diego. This is a very small price to pay."

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It seems quaint now that we do all our banking and race science there, but, nevertheless, it's true: at one time, people mostly wrote jokes on Twitter. 10 years ago, I wrote one about an old asshole and it kinda changed my life. Not his, though. www.cnn.com/2026/10/01/u...

cnn.comThe tweet that defined a decade of Trump | CNNIt’s been 10 years since Jesse Farrar accidentally defined a political era with one pithy, prescient tweet. He wishes it never happened.

A person driving a Mercedes is a guest in the apartment building where you live nearly hits you with their car because they are upset are they have to wait their turn to access the garage...this is my....

So, turns out it WASN'T a Mercedes, because after reporting ME to the leasing office, and being told to de-escalate, they left a NASTY note on my windshield telling me I was MISTAKEN about the make of their car. Very cool stuff, I love a psycho neighbour...

Are you doing the most illegal thing on the roads? Absolutely!! Are you also honking at me like a maniac, as if I am the asshole? Also ABSOLUTELY!!

At a burger place, minding my business, when an ANCIENT man with the wettest cough I have ever heard sits down at the table next to me. His T-shirt reads "Hopeless Romantic Looking for a Filthy Whore" Gee, it's a MYSTERY why you are alone and are likely to stay that way. Yeah, just gonna...

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*stinky, sweaty, hair falling out, 250 days into deployment, eating a piece of meat that looks like a dried out dog ear, liable to die at any moment* i cant wait to shoot my warrior cum into the broken toilet

MeidasTouch@meidastouch.com

NEWS: The Pentagon has announced mandatory low-testosterone screenings for male troops 30 and older, including screening for symptoms such as “reduced libido, loss of spontaneous morning erections, erectile dysfunction,” and other symptoms.

I need some levity and joy in my life...Can't wait for next week! #hats #Libtron

libby watson@libbycwatson.com

next week on my stream i am doing Hat Week. and we're all excited to figure out what that means. art by @whamber.bsky.social!

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if you had told public health nurses working 10 years ago that we would have SEVEN HUNDRED cases in ONE state with numerous other states with outbreaks on top of that number would either not believe you or suddenly become acutely invested in the 2004 film The Butterfly Effect & to change this fate

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BREAKING NEWS that same hospital is now laying off 100 workers, eliminating 300 jobs Why did we clap for the rich people exactly?

WMUR New Hampshire: Billionaire Gives Record Breaking Gift to Hospital ok but the gift was only 30 million & the prev. record was 25 million don’t need to kudos billionaires we’ve just been letting rich people compete over who is most generous when universal healthcare could do a lot more good

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Here is my brother's review of the book* *Eugene

Kendra, spooky version@kendrawcandraw.bsky.social

Hey, have I told you lately that my ongoing graphic novel medieval action-adventure-romance series REAL HERO SHIT is available where fine books are sold? 🥴👍 Book 1: www.goodreads.com/book/show/58... Book 2: www.goodreads.com/book/show/23...

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I keep seeing videos of a guy who catches crabs and lobsters, cracks all the barnacles off them, puts a shrimp in their claws and throws them back. can you imagine. abducted by aliens but they just give you a spa day and hand you two hot dogs and let you go