Owl

Hello darkness my old friend

If you’re an out-of-state politician who got my contact info off a list and you want to ask me for money: 1. Don’t text me 2. Don’t “goddamn beg me for $1” 3. Don’t invoke Nate Silver Embarrassing stuff!

Congratulations to @jayzawaski.bsky.social for finally making it into Awful Announcing

Interesting juxtaposition

called it baby

this situation is literally nightmare fuel for anyone with imposter syndrome

what I'm getting from this is that if we had medicare for all, the dodgers are up 2-1 in the series

"Could this be the scandal that brings down Trump??", we breathlessly ask for the 873rd time since 2015

🌟Call for sports fans🌟 I am looking to interview queer fans of men's sports about how their identity affects/engages with their relationship to sport! This is for a book project on queerness in high-level sports. If this sounds like you, hit my line (DM's or replies) and I'll get in touch!

"Our base is so depressed and disgusted with the race that they don't want to pick up the phone"

Finally, we get to hear her side of the story.

It must be so hard to be a writer for @theonion.com these days. There's just no way they can keep up with actual news.

Holy shit.

tHe MiLitArY nEeDs MoRe tEsTosTeRoNe

This is a heck of a way to find out Vivek Ramaswamy is still somewhat relevant

Just found out that Bluesky lets you hide self-reposts. Choosing not to yet because I want to identify the sociopaths.

Anyway back to talking about basketball. Here are Sophie Cunningham’s 2026 highlights #WNBA

Can't wait for the Werner Herzog documentary on Arizona Iced Tea

So tired of studios rebooting the same stories and characters instead of coming up with something original

Circus Performers, by Walt Kuhn, 1978, 📸 via @marisakabas.bsky.social

AI EXECUTIVE (bragging about his product): Using this every day has made me incredibly stupid

it's Prideraiser time! 🏳️‍🌈⚽️ We're supporting @transupfrontil.com again this year. 🏳️‍⚧️ Every @chicagostars.com goal scored between October 4 – November 1 will raise money to support trans youth, teens, & young adults, so get your pledges in today! www.prideraiser.org/campaigns/ch...

A face only Duckworth would save

Love and football 🫶🇦🇹 Austrian champions Austria Wien—who make their UWCL debut today—unveiled a stunning third kit inspired by Gustav Klimt’s The Kiss. The campaign celebrates love in all its forms, bringing club supporters’ own love stories into the spotlight.

Not only did I meet Robert Kraft, I worked for him. His kid Jonathan asked me to “remove the black music” from my gameday playlist in ‘94 & I refused so they fired me. I was the cheerleader director at the time.  I sued them for wrongful termination and won. So yes, I know that motherfucker. 

School’s in! And so is Scarleteen’s annual fundraiser. We’re raising $7k for our 7m visitors in 2026. Chip today or become a monthly recurring donor here: give.gofundme.com/7kfor7m

My heart goes out to the millions of people struggling to remember how to write "Thanks! Sounds great!" in an email.

we do not live in a binary world and never have, despite the loud insistence of some

How long until there's a mainstream conspiracy theory that the 2032 asteroid is being faked by NASA in order to prevent it from being DOGE'd and then we start living the plot of Don't Look Up?

my guy has to wrap this up so he can make it to his shift at Los Pollos Hermanos

“MaYbe shE’s goiNg to be in TroUble nOw” Maybe he can learn to read. The Constitution would be a good place to start

[ceo tossing and turning in bed] the air. the air they breathe should be a subscription service.

Hiring qualified women or minorities: DEI Hiring an old football coach with no government experience whatsoever: merit because he’s a white guy!

Before you guys start on your Super Bowl chili, consider making it slightly healthier and eco-friendly. #Chili #SuperBowl #SBLIX wp.me/pg6cGW-4p

Well it looks like James E Denehy and Mariann Budde now lead the Democratic Party as our elected officials spend yet another day not doing anything to fight back.

Achievement Unlocked: Become (Part) Owner of a Sports Franchise. @mnaurorafc.bsky.social Don't worry, @chicagostars.com, I still like you too.

Someone should make a spreadsheet of every democrat up for reelection in the next four years so we can primary every single one of them

I don’t care how bad their opponents are. They roll over instead of standing for anything. We don’t deserve to die of climate change.

Every UFO "disclosure" video in the last 15 years looks like it was shot on a child's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles digital camera that was bought at a Speedway gas station in 2004.

the people who want to forcibly take over Canada are moving an event indoors because it is -6C outside. lol. lmao, even.