Matt R

Lerry Ellison and his weird son Blunther (??) Ellison look like they go on weekend trips to kill horses and steal their teeth

It is too late, I have already depicted myself as the άνθρωπος ίσχυρός and you as the άνθρωπος παρθένος 🫵

Circus Performers, by Walt Kuhn, 1978, 📸 via @marisakabas.bsky.social

Animal Facing Extinction In 2003 Fucks Its Way Back https://theonion.com/animal-facing-extinction-in-2003-fucks-its-way-back-1819574957/

Mike Rogers is a corporate sellout who moves back to Michigan every few years to run for office to take another swing at the revolving door of corporate politics.

Me: I voted for Donald Trump because I had him confused with that other guy. Donald Duck. NYT reporter: Are you sure you want me to print that next to your real name and a drawing of you? Me: Yes.

when a team says "nobody thought we could do this," they were lying, until the chicago white sox said it

ceo of burger king: our burgers have gone rogue again and infected people with e coli

You gotta give it up to Earth Wind & Fire for not even bothering to add a Water guy. They were just like it’s fine

Do you remember? 💕 #September21

Democratic strategists: Ahhh! What's the right message!!?? Where do we moderate!?!? Jon Ossoff: This administration is horrible. I hate these people. We should put them in jail. I'm pissed Voters: This guy is cool Strategists: I can't figure it out!!!!!

Media reporting Trump’s $5,000 “pledge” following the scarecrow child structure almost perfectly fyi

Now in Gunmetal Grey!

This Trump administration official is either disqualifyingly ignorant or knowingly lying. You decide. Evergreen post, I know.

it is wednesneigh my dudes

extremely curious about exact the degree to which the president is fully encased in a slop-generated alternate reality

the one truth in america that you actually arent allowed to say is that republicans and anyone supporting trump are dumb as dog shit. like actually very stupid people who should not be in charge of anything

"A.I." boosters vs "A.I." critics

Hakeem Jeffries Calls For Execution Of Central Park Five

I wonder how Natalie Harp is filtering the news about Natalie Harp. Human Printer jam?

I don't care if Bluesky's numbers are down. I use it to follow a few hundred weirdos who post too much. If this place folds they'll move someplace else and I'll follow them. You don't have to care if your baseball team makes money and you don't have to care if your social media platform is growing.

It really is wild, sad, bizarre, predictable. Not only is it not believable. It's no overstatement to say that when ICE says guy tried to run us over, tried to attack, threatened to shoot ... that's ICE for 'hey, our guys were pumped up and they shot the guy.'

You know who else has never assimilated? Everyone who keeps flying that fucking Confederate flag.

Hims Introduces New Line Of Folders To Hold In Front Of Embarrassing Boners https://theonion.com/hims-introduces-new-line-of-folders-to-hold-in-front-of-embarrassing-boners/

Stop telling those of us who enjoy raw milk that the milk contains cow shit. We know. That’s why we drink it!

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Listerine Leaves 0.1% Of Germs Alive To Spread Message Of Terror Throughout Microbial Community https://theonion.com/listerine-leaves-0-1-of-germs-alive-to-spread-message-of-terror-throughout-microbial-community/

This is not how airports work. There are a finite number of slots and gates. You cannot take every international flight from seven of the biggest airports in the country and redistribute them to red states. That's not how any of this works.

“The U.S. and Israel bombed Ahmadinejad to free Ahmadinejad but the plan failed after Ahmadinejad did not enjoy being bombed as much as he thought he would. Meanwhile, the Kentucky 6th district has deposed its representative due to his opposition to pedophilia.” Sure. Fine. Whatever. I give up.

🎧 My new thread: 20 of my fave rare groove tracks! AFAIK legendary UK DJ Norman Jay coined the term & had a show devoted to it It’s not one thing—it has multitudes!—but it referred to hard-to-find, under-the-radar, groovy funk/soul/R&B/jazz Here’s a defining tune 1/20 youtu.be/EBE2QeaeIXM?...

Raising the Flag Follow my work and writing on Substack: nickanderson.substack.com

kash patel increasingly feels like a tracy jordan-esque character

Feeling overwhelmed with all of this. LISTEN. Another Louisiana resident (Marshawn is the only name we have) testifies against the state’s racial gerrymander, speaking truth to power up and down the hearing room and predicts how this story will end. Speak your truth, fight and believe.

beast mode

I mean, of course that’s what happening. It’s been clear the whole time

France passed a law requiring solar panels on every parking lot with more than 80 spaces. Equals 10 nuclear reactors Reduces heat island, shades cars The US -- 800 million parking spaces. Most of them are uncovered asphalt sitting in direct sunlight. Why aren't we doing this?

Hey you know how the Right was laser focused on learning illiberal strategies from Orbán in order to pervert and weaponize the state? Now is the time to learn from the dismantling of that regime, including a relentless effort to prosecute them for their crimes.

Incredible sequel. Edge of my seat!

it'll be back in three days

The key to understanding Trump II is that it’s an administration predicated on doing a national murder-suicide for the crime of embarrassing Trump in 2020

I guess boycotting Harry Potter feels pretty trivial to me, because I'm an adult. if someone told me I shouldn't eat Gerber's baby food, I'd be like, that is no problem. I'm way ahead of you