Ember 🏳️‍⚧️

ooh big stretch

anti homeless architecture can suck my entire cock and balls and ass and dick and penis and boobs and pussy

thats the post

YOU CAN NOT FUCKING DO THIS TO ME

guys i just blew 170,000,000 tokens on vibegooning i’m taking a mortgage out on my house rn just to keep grok stroking my shit

lmao based

every time I see this post its gotten better

There is so much I going on here

yeah id probably kill someone to maintain my beauty and youthful appearance. in the right mood id kill someone for a grill cheese sandwich and three dollars so that sounds like a pretty good deal to me, miss bathory

boo

HI FRIENDS! I am launching the GoFundMe for my Facial Feminization Surgery today! I’m having to fundraise in a very short amount of time due to insurance shenanigans, so every little bit helps! Please donate if you can, reposts are deeply appreciated. 🏳️‍⚧️💜🏳️‍⚧️

Whoever put that rat bag on my timeline a while ago, you have created an incident

Legend. Added to personal vocabulary.

If your tradwife is pressing her forehead against the wall that could be a sign of a serious medical condition and you should take her to the vet right away

mustachioed old man wearing derby hat, stopped at a red light in a 1964 volkswagen beetle: "i sure could go for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!" me, peeling out of adjacent lane in a 2026 mclaren gts: don't you mean a "pbj"

mad how the defining cultural image of Steamboat Willie is Mickey whistling and driving the boat, and not the bit where he plays a pig's nipples as a musical instrument while it shrieks in pain

the graveyard

Suraj has a point.

"I hear you're sending me a seventh prime minister"

relevant to an email i just got

SO IT IS WRITTEN!

BAGGER: (spilling my groceries on the floor) Oh God. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I'm supposed to do. ME: How are you supposed to do it? MANAGER: She means she was gonna be a fox. In the woods and shit. But something happened and she got stuck. BAGGER: (crying) Got so stuck.

move over hemingway, we found a sadder and shorter story

your post was classified as a serious boo boo, adding four goofs to your account, which elevates your permanent record to a gold bungle. we're putting you in the no no zone for a week

how it feels not giving a fuck about nintendo products

microsoft developers using SteamOS running Windows-native games through compatibility layers AS A BENCHMARK for their new Windows K2 optimizations is one of the funniest fucking things to happen thus far in this current iteration of the OS war

my girlfriend asked if she could make a Mii for my island and handed this back to me 30 minutes later.

they are calling it the perfect summary of the "keep men out of women's sports" movement

trans people: im trans society: okay fisher main in ffxiv: haha yeah we got 30 yottaseconds to the blungusfish window and then it wont come back until 12 celestial revolutions lol. you have to jerk your penis to catch it

A Canadian journalist documents a group of white nationalists who’ve been meeting at a gym in Montréal, unbeknownst to the owner of the business. What happens after the story comes out? thetyee.ca/Opinion/2026...

everything in the world is incredibly fucked and there are daily heartbreaking preventable tragedies because the world is run by demented ghoulish pedophiles which induces a feeling of powerlessness, but on the bright side, the absurdity is *really* funny. A+ tier bit right here.

Doomscrolling is the weaponization of literacy

Oof. I just read your post in the most uncharitable, pedantic way possible, and I gotta tell ya: it's not looking good for you.