Hooting Zoo Ape

Another impossible beauty standard for women

In 2012, I went to a screening of The Wrath of Kahn and Q&A with Walter Koenig to celebrate his Walk of Fame star. He talked about the illegal scams he ran to fund his early acting days in NYC. Like staging an accident at a building under construction. Way past the statute of limitations, he said.

when burger king gets the new soil burger

once again, foes, i have a list of you who refuse to read this comic and there will be problems heaped upon you until you do

A sequel to You Can See Everything called Can’t See Shit where they leave the lens cap on the whole time.

sonic tried to kick me in the balls and it didn't work. tried to kick me in the ass and it didn't work. you see my dark secret hedgehog. im egg man you piece of shit. no dick. no balls. no ass. all egg.

a YouTube guy cheats on his wife and it makes national news. i cheat on my wife all the time and nobody even knows. except the police

we would solve a large number of problems if we castrated most of silicon valley

Everyone is a mental health professional now so just shut up and listen you toxic narcissist.

@unwisewoman.bsky.social @thatdoll.online

my favorite “modern classic” tumblr post

"You can unfriend me, or you can keep me in your feed. I know you’re curious about my deterioration. Will I progress from occasional posts of question-asking batshittery into an active crusader of evil, like the Darth Vader version of the person you once knew?" buff.ly/hNq98T3

“The internet is a store but it used to be a library” hits me like a slug to the chest

there are only two types of science fiction and they can be slotted into one or the other category of 'Weird sex cult' or 'reinventing Catholicism'

Palestinian skateboarder in Gaza doing a kickflip over an unexploded US-made (in Garland, Texas) Mk. 84 2000lb aerial bomb, provided to Israel as one of many tens of thousands of aerial bombs in the 1,000 and 2,000lb class included in US military assistance.

lol

7 year old giggling: when goku, gets super hungry, he eats like 30 meals in a row Me sounding exactly like Jesse Gemstone: I know how much goku eats

LLM Agents are conscious. My oven just communicated with me. It can think, feel, and even clean itself.

somebody else said it somewhere i can't remember but, "shut up nerd" honestly is the best possible response to most people around here

My reels algorithm is so fucking good now man. Pure psychic warfare straight from the White Martian

for halloween i told everyone at my job "i drank a potion and now i don't feel so good" and i've been changing my slack profile picture every few days along with my display name accordingly to stuff like "potion update- still not feeling so good"

i probably shouldn’t admit how much i gasped when i saw this

I had this idea of doing a cut of Blade Runner where Gaff is just really shit at origami. Don’t change anything except the insert shots of his creations, and they’re just crumpled garbage.

Top ten most foreboding sentence I've ever read.

if you arent reading swan boy youre my enemy and will be dealt with accordingly

what achewood was to my dead-end gen x computer job in the 2000s, swan boy is to my unionized millennial computer job in the 2020s, and i don’t have higher praise

me at 23: gimme another drink. put a shot of gin in a beer, who cares. sure i can snort that off a toilet tank because i will live forever me at 44 and sober: owwww the Waterloo seltzer is too bubbly owwwww

best stock photo title perhaps of all time

The Killing Dog: Hello. I'm the Killing Dog. My friends call me Lumbretius. I'll be killing you this evening. I'd like to begin. me: i think you're at the wrong house. i'm expecting the murder zebra The Killing Dog: Marvelous. Another bogus dispatch. Well, see you. Tell the old Stripe you saw me.

STEPHEN FRY: Now, which of you can tell me, who was the inventor of the telephone? ANDREW DICE CLAY: Your mother's pussy. STEPHEN FRY: Still not correct, although your persistence on this note is particularly admirable. ALAN DAVIES: Howard Nokia. [alarm goes off]