raindro g but spooky

something very repostable is written here

called in sick to work and now i feel like it’s a michelada monday

I wonder how many times I’ve been someone's weird story

she was classy. like a bendy straw

*seductively throwing caution and my underwear to the wind*

I wonder if shitty people can smell themselves

were the drops of jupiter in her hair just cum?

i touched grass once. it made me itchy so i went back inside and got back online.

having astigmatism and driving at night feels a lot like being at an edm show

Fuck Electric Avenue. Take me to Flavortown

Finding an M&M in your bra is a good omen

might let a girl convince me to go camping tonight

if you stay out long enough you will get paid before you have to close your tab. follow me for more life hacks

Me: how much for the goth Uno game? Store Clerk: ma’am, those are tarot cards

You scare me. Do it again.

baddie baddie bump o’clock

poutine is canadian nachos

the best part of french fries with cheese curds and gravy is poutine it in my mouth

took a five minute nap and now im up at 12:30 about to smash a gatorade and eat hot cheetos

“IS IT AI?!” i scream as i slice myself a piece of cake

Being horny is so embarrassing... your body willing the continuation of this doomed species

computers are now battlefields

a good soup makes you feel like everything's right in the world. to be clear though, it's not. the soup lies.

Scrolling tinder until I find a car mechanic

just me and my attention span against the clock

Hey that thing you’re looking for, check the pocket of your pants in the floor. You’re welcome.