Hot Lips Hooligan 🇵🇷

My cat sucks at hiding. #Caturday #Cats #CatsOfBluesky

Holy shit.

This is insanity. I got my ballot in the mail. There are 61 choices for governor of California. WTF

Holy shit. That halftime show was so so so very Puerto Rican. I’m overwhelmed with pride and emotion. 😭 So many memories of my childhood. That was amazing. Wepa!!! 🇵🇷🇵🇷🇵🇷

We are entering a new phase of our slide into fascism.

They literally pay me to make fun of them. I take their money and make them feel small… and they always come back for more. 😁

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

Buying both a Mexican and Canadian flag so I'm prepared to greet either country's troops as liberators. Chill either way

To be fair, I am a professional potty mouth.

@profanity.accountant

SPOILER: Socialism won.

What? 🥳👏 🙌🏼🍾

I’m not sure if my barista was being super encouraging or she wanted me to gag on my coffee. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Fuck you Texas.

Emergency vet situation. They want 700 freaking dollars for an x-ray. WTF.

Watching Antiques Roadshow: The Gen X years. Not quite sure how I feel about them discussing “antiques” from when I was in high school.

why do they call them children, they have like zero chill

10 minutes into my coffee fueled cleaning spree, my vacuum cleaner belt broke. Derailed the whole thing. What should I binge watch instead?

I just took two Tylenol because I’m a fucking rebel.

I came of political age hating the Bush guys and now I have to get in the trenches with them against the guy from the apprentice I would like to file several complaints

HISTORY IS ABOUT TO REPEAT, IF WE DON’T ACT… Watch, share, then call your senators. Tell them to include fixing Vieques, Puerto Rico, and delivering the relief people there desperately need ☎️ Capitol Switchboard: (202) 224-3121 Say: “Add the Vieques Recovery and Redevelopment Act to the NDAA.”

I can

Dems should swap out Hakeem Jeffries with Jasmine Crockett. They need that kind of fire.

Cooking dinner on the grill at 3:30 AM. I wonder if my neighbors are all dreaming about being at a barbecue right now.

The boyfriend bots are out in full force this week.

I seriously feel this. Football is bad for business.

I think I’m going to order a pound of this just to see what I get.

I know this might sound gross, but I made dark chocolate mayonnaise cookies. They came out amazing. Mayonnaise makes for really good soft bake cookies. I added dark chocolate cocoa powder and dark chocolate chips. Yum 😋

“You’ll never find justice in a world where criminals make the rules.” - Bob Marley

Boredom is under-appreciated serenity. - Jimmy Carr

"Can I read you a poem?", He threatened

I stopped reading the Bible after it started pandering to the fandom by bringing Jesus back from the dead.

I don’t mean to brag, but I did laundry tonight and every sock had a match.

#booksky

This is one instance of so many. I can’t believe this is happening in my country. 😢

The sheep, out of hatred for the rabbits, voted for the wolf to preside over the farm. They all died. Even the chickens, who didn't vote.

The important thing is that all the men at my job are scared of me