🦇Caz🦇

Another impossible beauty standard for women

I usually get right into Halloween costumes (cuz Goth Christmas etc) but the last couple of years it's either been "can only work with what hasn't been packed yet" or "I'm too tired/sick to make anything decent." If I can't find a plain white sheet up the Asdas later I'm going to have to go retro.

Nasty bug

Autumn leaves 🍂

Choosdee

None of us should forget this. Meta should be subjected to corporate death penalty and permanently broken up into small pieces.

It's easy to laugh at Liz Truss

"I hope this email finds you well" How the email finds me

my Portuguese isn't great but I think I can work this out

Going to revival screenings of Tristar movies and screaming when the logo pegasus gets too close to the camera

Cat made this face when I opened the back door to prove it was still windy as all fuck

Can’t believe this is what Storm Boelo looks like…

Girls will say “I needed this.” and it’s just the What’s Opera Doc horse.✨

I much preferred it when billionaires just shut the fuck up.

Been a busy day of trying to function and not die in public whilst ALSO entertaining the MiL. In a storm!

“Ain’t no party like an S Club party”. BOLLOCKS. I went to a B*Witched party & it was EXACTLY the same as an S Club party. Same caterers. SAME MAGICIAN

As Halloween is round the corner we thought we’d share some medieval bats. A thread… 🧵 🦇

'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my treehouse door." Quoth the Piglet, "It's Eeyore!" - Edgar Allan Pooh

I just found out Gary Numan is 13 days older than Gary Oldman

Podcast guests - dry your mouths out or move away from the mic. It sounds like slugs fucking. Thanks.

“WHERE’S YOUR FUCKING POPPY??!!”

MiL coming to visit whilst it's stormy outside and my body is being a nightmare?

The Fresh Prince of Red-hair #birds

Come on Denis, you know it makes sense.

#treeoftheday

SACHA BARON COHEN: My satire exposes hate and bigotry in society. BORAT: (molesting donkey) I like very much eating from toilet!!!

My brother has informed me that I'm going to be an Auntie. He did this in passing whilst talking to me about fucking stamps.

Every gothic horror:

Thursday

Watching DIY SAS. Billy’s just stormed the Iranian Embassy. Fuck knows how they’re going to fix the disabled shower now.

we've identified another vulnerability leak. now hackers on the dark web have identified your bad knee and that weird thing your shoulder does if you sleep on it wrong. there's no patch available for this, they're now just keenly aware you feel like your career has stalled out

Bilbo Baggins letter to Gandalf

Weather is grim, started the day with grim news, health is grim (innards feel like they're wrapped in barbed wire.) Not sure how to improve any of it tbqhwy. Suggestions welcome.

Cofiwch Aberfan. Remember Aberfan.

A shot for shot remake of every James Bond film except the lead character is named Oregano Burps

It's Barry Wom x

It is done. My magnum opus. My legacy.