Post

Dmitry Grozoubinski
@explaintrade.com

As public opinion turns, reports from within Mount Doom suggest Orc Lieutenant Gothmog is to be relieved of command and withdrawn from Gondor back to Minas Morgul where he is expected to soon retire. Sauron hopes this ends the matter and the Fellowship will now go home and stop blowing whistles.

179 reposts730 likes

Dmitry Grozoubinski
@explaintrade.com

"I support the underlying mission of plunging the world into darkness, ending the time of men and elves and ushering in the age of the orc, but some of the tactics employed by Gothmog's Variag and Easterling troops may have crossed the line. I call on Gondor and Rohan to help lower the temperature."

Dmitry Grozoubinski
@explaintrade.com

"It's obviously regrettable when anyone is run down by Wargs, bound with chains of black iron and skinned alive with knives forged in the depths of Isengard, but let's remember that villagers have a responsibility not to impede the legitimate operations of Sauron's Legions."

Chrononaut
@chrononaut.bsky.social

"We invade your peaceful settlements only to catch a band of hobbit saboteurs known as the Hobbitifa who are on a mission to destroy invaluable cultural artifacts, and who keep stirring up trouble everywhere they go. Assist the Dark Legions, and never forget that Palantir is watching you!"

Rich
@pibasedlifeform.bsky.social

"At the end of the day, the firing of the severed heads of the prisoners over the wall of Minas Tirith did cross a line, but I would never have done that if they hadn't tried to defend the crossing of the Anduin, which everyone knows is my favourite river, the best river ever, everyone says so"