Post

excellent......thoughts and prayers

Sniper.??//!

All those good guys with guns cleared that quad in seconds !

We should be telling the truth. Charlie Kirk is still alive. Charlie Kirk’s assassination is obviously a deep state operation and all the people are crisis actors. This whole thing is designed to try and make democrats out to be radical violent terrorists so trump can become the king of the US.

I love yewwww🧅

Given Utah’s open carry law, it’s quite possibly true!

If I were going to shoot someone, I’d dress like an ICE agent. No one could find me.

This is a satirical news paper….

This is true not satire. Some of the audience ran into active classrooms and locked them down.

This isn't even satire.

Whoda thunk that rightwing nut jobs carrying military-style rifles to Subway and Starbucks would make us safer? Live by the rifle, die by the rifle. 😐

Would not be surprised if this was real LOL

True, you can barely tell ordinary gunmen from suspicious gunmen.

I hope he’s a right winger

Fuck. On 9/11?? This is the epitome of NOT resting on your laurels! I feel like I need to up my game of, um, reading and sharing.

Maybe they run around with guns- like Texas.

Many people are saying this! bsky.app/profile/mida...

A murder occurs every 30 minutes in America so “too soon” has to be down around the 30 seconds after mark.

You haven't been paying attention.

Cause you're in the out group. Try being born a rich white male next time.

Same tho I don't have a problem with guns parsé I believe in stricter laws etc and why do people need an AR ??there is no reason for it two big to hunt also in some states it's illegal to shoot with an AR or even a .22 but I also don't own one $$ mostly But yet even we are getting blamed..

Seems that way. Most believe they are lazy

Same difference I guess

*nazis

He was there for the Sniping 101 class, new this fall…

"Not" too soon. 🏆

It's 'murica probably some gun toting loon bumped their firearm, got home to unload it and be like 'well shit, it appears I accidentally shot Charlie Kirk stone cold dead 🤷‍♀️ , what a waste of ammo, hey never mind'

Perfect.

How sad is that. Our country...😢

😂😂😳

Where is the satire? Thanks to people like Charlie Kirk...there are guns on campuses.

Yeah looks that way. Onion is not satire.

It took me a second or two.

I was composing my reply! 😂

Glad I’m not the only one

You mean they waited two hours for everyone else to read it, then maintained they did everything they could to respond as quickly as possible?

I want an orange jumpsuit. Will match my hairpiece.

Ooft man.

Me too. I was imagining all these students walking around with long guns. Whew.

☝️🛑 That's right... 📌 Situation: - America, School Campus, many ordinary Gunmen, one of them decided to shoot. - The rest didn't have time, but they really wanted to. - But they didn't have time...

Ouch.

Perfect satire in a world where satire has been buried by lunatic reality. To quote the rather erudite Emma, "I knew that one day I'd have to watch powerful men burn the world down – I just didn't expect them to be such losers."

Dark. But true.

The Onion has sunk to new low's along with the unhinged DemoKKKrat party and their minions...

He wasn't your garden variety school shooter.

I have no words.

I don't think you know what 'usually' means. And also 'prominent'. Maybe you should look into this "Dictionary" thing. Not sure why you seem so offended at the thought of his murder being classified as an assassination. The word doesn't require any sort of moral standards. Just prominence.

The OED does mention a politician or government official in its definition

Exactly! They're always full of self-importance, hubris, and hatred... the worst ...

Nah … this makes sense now 💁🏻‍♂️ bsky.app/profile/your...

Narrator: “But it wasn’t just an average Joe sixshooter.”

We now know based on reports that this was no ordinary person based on experts in shooting the rest you need to look up and read yourself. Read resourceful information cus there’s alot of misinformation out in the web. Good sources such as midas touch and Rachel maddow are good sources

That Is Not what has been reported it was more than 150 yarda but even if that is correct yes a veteran Hunter you just said. Remember that if they come and say it was joe from down the Street

He said he was just vibe shooting . These kids today;)

Chefs kiss.

incisive, devastating, timely. good work Onion

I love you, The Onion.

my generation's mark twain is an onion

To begin with...I seriously thought that a stray bullet from a nearby mass shooting simply grazed him

Sums it up nicely.

An ordinary gunman? What is that?

We’ll never if having a gun and not having a gun made any difference to the gunman

Nah. He only shot one person. Typical school shooter would have used semi-automatic and killed lots more people.

To borrow a phrase from my favorite newspaper, Holy Fucking Shit, dude. "Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus"

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Charlie Kirk drops the mic in debate about gun violence by getting shot.

Well, the MAGAts can’t be fussed about a school shouting where dozens of children die, but a school shooting where one Nazi dies and its the apocalypse. 🙄

*snort laughs in inappropriate*

Chef’s kiss.

Ooh, that’s dark. Brilliant.

He left his rifle in a neighborhood. The gunman knew it would be found.

That's literally the point of the (satirical) article.

The onion posts satire, dear. They are making fun of the very concept you are upset about, that public/mass shootings have become too common and therefore normalized.

If only there was a good counter sniper

Amen! Irony is mostly dead but The Onion nails this one 💯

perfection

A+ trolling, folks. A+. S-tier, even.

Kirk would be alive today if he'd been speaking on a "crazy" liberal campus. It would not shock me if we learned the one pointing fingers is responsible for this. What better person than the one calling for release of Epstein files (before the threats).

Amazing, 10/10

*they

I have a kid attending a UVU satellite campus who told me this is literally true - before I saw this headline

Oh thank god, I can still be shocked.

@A.S.M.Sikora:https://open.substack.com/pub/austinsikora/p/inside-the-killing-of-charlie-kirk?r=32cg97&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

"Just an ordinary 40 yo cia guy on campus."

He had Balcony Seats.

Not too soon.

wtf

“Under the changes in HB 128, which went into effect on May 7, individuals who are 18 years old or older and have a current Utah concealed weapon permit (CWP) may carry a weapon on campus, including in an ‘open’ fashion.”

I find that removing cancer from a diseased organism is healthy. MAGA is cancer.

CommonNonsense3* thinks that calling extreme right-wing inciters of hatred & violence against PoC, LGBTQ+ People, & immigrants "Nazis" or "fascists" only makes the situation worse. 🙄 They wrote RIP Charlie Kirk👇 & (in a reply) that Trump says "some great stuff"! bsky.app/profile/comm... * Fascist

“the gunman had escaped by blending into the heavily armed crowd”

If only they could have seen that the bullets were trans 😓

sounds about right

you got me.

It’s Utah. Everyone looks the same. Products of incest.

Too bad. So sad. Could have been prevented if this law had not been passed.

Tragically funny.

Ooh... That's a little too harsh

JHC this is dark.

I love how every Onion headline sounds like something that could actually be true given the current political climate.