8rustystaples.bsky.social

I get irrationally angry seeing “y’all” with the misplaced apostrophe. What the hell would “ya’ll” be a contraction of?

Airing propaganda illegally paid for by our tax dollars is an excellent way to lose credibility @nbcnews.com 🖕

I accidentally sat on a wet lawn chair & it felt disgusting. No wonder Trump is so grumpy all the time

I think this is funnier than Bluesky does, which is shaping up to be the story of my life

Carli Lloyd’s voice is like Tina Fey doing her Sarah Palin impression. Which makes her even more awesome.

“Vance went even further later on Thursday during a press conference at the White House, reminding Israel’s leaders that they’ve made their country an international pariah.”

What do goats call the best ever?

Credit where credit is due, Greenwater Services is a spot-on name.

"So ... so I said ... why not sign your treaty here, at Versailles?"

NO SCHOOLCHILDREN ARE SAFE.

which intrepid reporter will bring a piece of the reflecting pool epoxy to the next white house briefing “sir i think you dropped this”

I wonder how much this latest name change is going to cost American taxpayers. 🤷‍♂️

I’m so immature but this is immaculate.

His superpower is making everything he touches worse. The Enshitifier™️

please do not publish advance details from the haberman/swan book they didn’t sit on all of these stories to not make money

just read the text of the deal and we’re switching to sharia law?

there’s a dang octopus in r'lyeh

interesting, so you’re saying you don’t think bart simpson’s chubbiness is an important aspect of his characterization? that being husky might have a meaningful effect on a young boy’s temperament? you don't believe they drew him with a little lord's paunch deliberately? an echo of his enemy father?

No cocktail onions??? Your funeral sucks!

A very happy 80th & final birthday to our great President!

*THEY/THEMstory

Based on the three times I’ve had sex, I think farts are just part of it.

gen x be like: they'll hurt me bad, they do it all the time

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent you dimwitted oleaginous felch weasel.

ken burns:

going to laugh forever about the Knicks only losing the Trump Game immaculate scriptwriting, no notes

Why have all of you let me go around this long thinking the first K in “Knicks” wasn’t silent?

I’m just afraid that now I won’t get to hear what religion everyone’s mayor and bagels are anymore.

Does anyone else think it’s weird Christopher Nolan decided to remake ‘O Brother, Where Art Thou’?

they should have lemon laws but for presidents

At the end of the 1st, the Knicks are only down ten? Might as well roll out the trophy now.

just started having recency bias and i love it. easily the best bias

boss makes a dollar, i make a dime. everyone contributes here at the mint

Now they all know how children at school feel.

glad the press corps isn't alive to see this

I’m at the combination Comedy Central Roast of Adolf Hitler / Reichstag Fire

It’s totally OK not to speculate on anything right now.

The irony of this is you can’t believe the reporting of anyone who was at the WHite House Correspondents Dinner.