Count Draugula

Alt text

For the LORD so loved the earth that he gave us three by three animal style with a Neapolitan.

I'm throwing Philly into the mix for my new concept "Charles Entertainment Cheesesteak Factory" with A.I. powered cooks who craft a completely different version of what you ordered then hand it to an animatronic rat who throws the food at you.

Hacked VMS board spotted in Nashville on Korean Veterans Boulevard.

Some Lula supporters apparently shouted his name out their window when it was announced he won and a cop pointed his gun at him and they took what is possibly the greatest image of a cop ever taken, like genuinely this would go hard as a cover for a Rage album its so poetic.

Remember in 2006 when. after she became speaker-apparent Pelosi said over and over "impeachment is off the table"?

gather round kids and i’ll tell you of a time when grand jury indictments were a formality and pretty much always successful

So the "advice" doled out in this column makes me INCREDIBLY fucking angry as a former kid who was repeatedly taken to task by teachers for "inappropriate" drawings, culminating in a 9th-grade suspension spurred by Columbine paranoia and residual Satanic Panic. Arionne here says that was JUSTIFIED.

If you wanted to take a deep dive into how to make a pretty good fried chicken biscuit, I wrote about how to make a sandwich that's pretty close to (and also better than) Bojangles' in your own kitchen. boundedbybuns.com/cajun-filet-...

What Marissa Odysseus, back in Mayer wants Ithaca after me to ask AI 20 years 🤝 what is my child like www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...

Almost certainly the best photo I’ve ever taken of an ominous stranger on horseback approaching lazy cattle on a chalk hilltop beneath an irascible sky.

I’d like to report a suspected criminal from a South American country attempting to enter the US illegally with a revoked passport.

Thursday is a paid holiday. Because Flavor Flav said so.

Go Rania!

691 words about Cheesecake. 434 words about rape.

"Shaman with Opposing Faces" whalebone c. 1973 Karoo Ashevak (1940-1974) Kitikmeot, Nunavut, Canada #handmade #carved #whalebone #shamanwithopposingfaces #c1973 #sculpture #art #Inuitart #inuk #Inuitpeople #KarooAshevak #Kitikmeot #Nunavut #Canada #indigenousart #FirstNation

This time of year I always look forward to a repost of the classic McSweeney-Ortiz piece "It's Decorative Calabaza Season, Pendejos!"

That’s nothing! Wait until you hear about Donald trump!

Why not sturgeon versus dragon? @mmmletsgo.bsky.social 2027!

“covert surveillance inside houses of worship… “interrogations of churches’ staff… “ICE agents hauled off a nun who was wearing her habit and walking down the sidewalk en route to Sunday Mass… “suing a Catholic diocese in New Mexico to seize 14 acres of their land…” www.ms.now/rachel-maddo...

If you look very closely you’ll see my cute new Darth-ish laptop sticker from Japan. It translates roughly to: “What you gonna do about it, huh?”

😮

*BOLSONARO: FEDERAL POLICE REQUESTED I GIVE THEM MY PASSPORT

If this happens the first question a reporter asks her needs to be about her cousin’s balls.

I need Nicki Minaj to be the White House Press Secretary, legendarily crash and burn within a week, and then Cardi B to get appointed under a progressive president and become the most accomplished press secretary ever

RIP to an incredible actor, Alfred Bester is one of my all time favorite Lawful Evil villains

GET. YOUR. PRESSURE. CHECKED. You’re never too young to have a heart attack.

On their way to the press secretary auditions.

Something I wish more people would realize.

The fact that we've agreed to call these gambling sites "prediction markets" furthers their bullshit. They predict nothing and it's a disgrace that news orgs have partnered with them and pretend they have news value. THEY'RE JUST A BUNCHA LOSERS GAMBLING.

spare a thought for a millennial about to move back in with his dad

Omg no, he was so young. Damn. He was such a talented voice actor. It’s on the mind because I literally just watched it yesterday, but he got asked to do the taken monologue as porky pig and its a masterpiece

First- a teacher wanting three "bullet points" about what makes a child special is just wrong. Second- the mother not calling the teacher out on that bullshit is wrong. Third- you need a fucking computer to tell you what is special about your child?????

Lula won in part by banning online gambling

NEW: At least 18 voting centers in Alaska Native communities have not opened despite early voting having already started in the state last week. “There is no legal excuse for the failure to open these sites,” one state senator wrote to the Alaska elections chief.

They can't make money by making journalism the product, so we have to be the product.

Guys I was watching The Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror II” segment where Bart is a monster that forces the town to follow his every whim for fear of upsetting him and THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT TRUMP IS DOING

did this for the first time last fall—I moved some of my perennial containers where I raked the leaves under a tree (not too close to the trunk), insulating them. not only did we get some forgotten bulbs popping up under in early spring, we had no aphids this year and lots more moths and fireflies.

I'm shipping out Freaky Fish totes starting tomorrow! Get yours today so you get them in the first migration outta here Get one at SquidFacts.net

“I guess when you’re great, and I am, this is what they do,” she says. “If I wasn’t great, they wouldn’t be talking about me.”