Sandy Nelson

Watching Visionquest as a Brit is basically being exposed to cultural crimes.

Looking for a new car. Important to list your need and wants. NEEDS: Reliability. Good media system. Safety. WANTS: Spacious. Economical. Ability to spontaneously flip in the air whilst waiting at the traffic lights.

I love Ridley but for the love of God, The Engineers, whatever: please stop.

What the actual? Amazing.

Remembering an article about where the beef stock concentrate from shop bought beef stock came from and they tracked the suppliers back and each stage the ingredient was diluted beef stock concentrate and no one knew where the original stock came from and that’s the internet now, isn’t it?

Age yourself with a celebrity crush

I had a fess published a few years ago about how I couldn't connect with my lifelong pals cos all they wanted to do was booze and take coke. I told them how I felt, turned out they thought the same and now we climb Munro's on Sundays. Lads, talk to your pals.

Oh fuck. The Oasis documentary has me grinning and greeting and we’re only twenty minutes in.

My “Maintains steady whisky acquisition” is definitely a euphemism for “drinks too much”

This and:

If the US Department of Corrections needs someone to kill their prisoners I’ve worked with a few doctors I could recommend

please help… my son…

We had this in the 90’s. It was a series of “your maw…” jokes.

5 potatoes cubed is still 5 potatoes because potatoes are root vegetables

A conversation elsewhere reminded me. More innocent times, and I do mean that. You know the rules. www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPCJ...

I've got a well-paid job, filling small choux buns with cream. It's a profitablerole.

An estimated 554 people are dying every week in the UK in association with overcrowding in Emergency Departments. That's according to new research presented today (25 September) from the Trainee Emergency Research Network, which is supported by RCEM. More below. rcem.ac.uk/college-n...

I don't know how to explain it, but orcs aren't real. Obviously, I don't believe in goblins and elves, but I REALLY don't believe in orcs. They're just something that was invented by a famous fantasy writer, like transphobia.

he is a little fat belgian with various degrees of mental illness and that is how we like him go away

The way these are being phrased in headlines and breathless media coverage makes it sound like AI Chatbots are malevolent entities bouncing off the walls of their containment, desperately trying to escape. THEY’RE DOING WHAT HUMANS ARE TELLING THEM TO.

Trying to go see the new Resident Evil movie but apparently before I can enter the auditorium I have to have the spade key to unlock the door? And I only have the hearts key, which unlocks the route to the concession stand. Anyone know where to go next? A bit stuck

Do these guys work in the NHS?

I keep thinking this is actual breaking news when a notification about this post shows up on my lock screen

Just like real life, mild virality has made me feel ill and I shall take to my bed.

Ed Sheeran has pulled out of his tour, triggering a by-election

Football does a good thing. Men: get it out there www.theguardian.com/football/202...

Jimmy Eat World

Chuckling at the almost touching pointlessness of gifting Donald Trump a Michael Longley poem. Like playing Bach to a waffle iron.

Never thought I'd hear an orange man advocate for a united Ireland

Never date a tennis player — love means nothing to them.

I don't want to know if a fascist paedo dictator is enjoying the weather or not. I don't want to know if he's tried a pint of Guinness. I want to know how close he is to death and how uncomfortable he is.

And now you're singing it, too. 🤣

Small Prophets to return for a second series www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/...

trampoline sounds like something you'd use to clean a trampoline

Oh. Great. Another bunch of experts to ignore.

I love Barney’s writing but in the opening sentence of this piece he conflates Location, Location, Location with Property Ladder/Homes Under The Hammer and that’s where I draw the line.

"Tiny Tim, who DESERVED to die,"

Just remembered this and felt a little sad and amazed by the world. imgs.xkcd.com/comics/bee_o...

A dude tries to get his rug back.

Turned off Masters Of The Universe after half and hour. It is BAAAADD.

Man dies after no ambulances could attend in winter pressures