Count Bobula

Authorities Investigate Collision Between Trains From Chicago Traveling 80 MPH, D.C. Traveling 75 MPH

“Fire bad! Stella D’oro good!”

POV: Your cat is so dang orange it changes the color of the whole wall.

From Durin Parton’s “Runestone” album: 🎶 Your fury is beyond compare With hoarfrost locks of snow-white hair/ With ice-blue skin and weapons forged with runes/ Your laughter foretells all our doom/ Your footfalls echo through the room/ And I cannot compete with you, Jotun🎶

More sports need a splash zone

My kid, narrating some battle between his figures between homework pages: “I’m having a great apocalypse. I was born a 40-year-old car, and that’s the one mutation that’s kept me alive.”

The students in my kid’s classroom all need to take “class helper“ roles, which is fine, except their teacher is making them APPLY for those jobs. Seems a bit harsh for third grade. Also, my kid wants the Office Messenger role specifically so he can steal candy from the principal’s desk.

Name a non-LotR character who could resist the One Ring:

@misterabk.bsky.social Slimo Deathadder on his first day on the job

In Dallas for the weekend, and I was not expecting to see a gigantic rat’s head staring up at me as the plane started to descend

Doom: ”I also have goat’s feet that I trip over sometimes!” Reed: “That’s great, Vic.” Doom: “For my first evil plan I’m going to take over a Danish youth hostel!” Reed: ”Hey, you okay, buddy?”

“We all honk down here.”

the only video worth rescuing from my deleted twtter

If you see this, post an archer

i would like your help with a social art project this post is the project the goal is for this post to receive ZERO likes… only replies, reposts, or quotes once it's liked, replies are immediately disabled, thereby finishing the piece this is take #17 dame.is/creating/ratioed/17

This is a very dumb joke that I’m fiercely proud of

“Gatos: The Paws of Fate”

Why is Naomi Klein’s personal jet called “The Simple Machine?” Because it’s an N. Klein plane!

“The Economy is worthless without a villain with a weirdly empathetic backstory.”

A thing that made the old Internet good was all the world’s weirdos came together to offer their deep expertise on niche subjects. Now it’s so much harder to find that online, and we’ve destroyed the weirdos’ natural habitats. Netflix homepage could NEVER recommend a film like a video store weirdo.

What if they just make Binface the next Black Rod?

Me: “Okay, the system’s processing it.” Boss: “Yeah, it takes awhile.” Me: “The circle’s still spinning. It’s thinking about its life choices, thinking about its sins.” Boss: … Boss: “I just tell myself it’s going ‘I think I can.’” Me: “It’s been a long morning for me.”

10 actresses to get to know me: Mary Jo Pehl Kathy Bates Lucille Ball Wanda Sykes Julie Louis Dreyfus Anne Ramsey Paula Poundstone Maya Rudoloph Margaret Cho Emily Axford

Brother Gregor gone fishin'

we all know I have no life, so:

Me: “doot-doot-doot, me work job” My brain: “Pesto!” Me: “huh?” My brain: “That was the name of the big baby penguin! You were trying to remember that, remember?” Me: … My brain: “From 2024!”

Take the wrong lesson from a movie. Star Wars: listen to what the voices in your head tell you to do

Read about Nicole Kidman’s death doula turn, thought about what celebrity I’d want for my death doula, and now I’m stuck picturing Alex Horne as a Cenobite telling me all the information is in the task.

Kid is going through a sustained Smurfs phase, so now we have this cool poster

“Hello, America, you had probably forgotten about me and how I look and sound like a cartoon vampire, but I just wanted to quickly associate myself with Jeffery Epstein your minds when I don’t think anyone had seriously connected me to him before.”

When Doctor Doom is stuck reading upsetting news on his Doomphone, does he call it “Doomscrolling” or ”RICHARDS!scrolling”?

Yeah because I tried Mastodon in good faith and it was the social media experience of eating bran flakes while being glowered at by an angry German

Gandalf the Grey is the midway point between Gargamel and Gandalf the White. I will be taking no further questions at this time.

Typical Tuesday night with the boys.

pixelframe.design/cyberpunk-20...

TEND to mah fires and LIVE in the mires and GRAB the little creature of BOGGY CREEK

I saw this and wondered if anyone at @dungeonsanddads.bsky.social has let Will Campos know there’s a darker and edgier reboot to Teensects? www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCaQ...

Rejected Smurf Names (work in progres): • Baltimore Smurf • Chicago Style Smurf • MLA Smurf • Catboy Smurf • Horsegirl Smurf • Facehugger Smurf • Nonprofit CEO Smurf • Munchausen By Proxy Smurf • Maegashira 14 West Smurf • Tom Hardy Smurf • Oviraptor Smurf