dwightprivilege.bsky.social

Got banned from Reddit for calling Leon Musk “the thinnest skinned man alive.” I should have focused on real issues like white genocide. 😕 Free speech is alive and well well

getting carbombed after a palantir thinktank pays me $125 to pretend to be a Gay Looking Ethical Non Monogamist who is glad alcatraz closed

If you're at the airport and Kristi Noem is doing the ominous little message from the TSA screens, you no longer have to do anything she says. Leave your laptop in the case, whatever.

I am now in my 55th year of being an imminent millionaire.

I can't think of anything less patriotic than allowing a corrupt pedophile to suspend the constitution so he can murder citizens, enrich himself, and imprison journalists.

Trump’s First Year In Office https://theonion.com/trumps-first-year-in-office/

Steph Curry Finally Finishes Eating Mouthguard

It would be so cool if the United States Congress still existed.

i think movies should not start 30 minutes after their listed time

Cop Posing As Underage Girl Online Falls In Love With Pedophile https://theonion.com/cop-posing-as-underage-girl-online-falls-in-love-with-pedophile/

i cannot believe that “mamdani calls a close adult relative an ‘aunt’ even if they are not literally their parent’s sister” is what counts as a “scandal” these days

Boy Believed To Be Next Reincarnation Of Regional KFC Manager Discovered In Chatfield, MN https://theonion.com/boy-believed-to-be-next-reincarnation-of-regional-kfc-m-1819571849/

Why does everyone keep calling it “The Epstein Ballroom?” Please stop repeating “The Epstein Ballroom” because it is not called “The Epstein Ballroom!” Don’t tell the news that it’s called “The Epstein Ballroom” and please don’t repost this!!!!!

Black Homeowners Receive Higher Appraisal After Displaying Pictures Of Klan Members

Dickhead In Sanchez Jersey Turns Out To Be Mark Sanchez

I was a skeptic about the import of the Epstein files. But 3 invasions of cities, one military buildup outside Venezuela, a government shutdown, and so many other things meant to distract have me convinced whatever’s in there is the biggest presidential scandal in U.S. history.

once again, if tylenol caused autism, america would have a better rail system

Today is a good day to cancel your Disney+ membership

Man, a lot of crazy shit has happened since Epstein’s birthday letter was released a week ago Monday.

Disney didn't watch Andor

It is possible to hold both of these things true at the same time: 1) political violence is never an appropriate choice in a civilized society 2) Charlie Kirk’s dream is to create exactly the kind of society he currently lives in, as spoken from his own mouth

U.S. Military Strikes Boat Allegedly Carrying Cartel Members https://theonion.com/u-s-military-strikes-boat-allegedly-carrying-cartel-members/

🚨BREAKING: Bread is now woke, according to Alex Phillips

Scalpers Jack Up Price Of Colorado Rockies Ticket To $11 https://theonion.com/scalpers-jack-up-price-of-colorado-rockies-ticket-to-11/

New rule. A parent may only propose removing a book from the school library only after reading it in its entirety and delivering a book report to the librarian. Until then no discussion shall be entered into.

ICE officer playing Wolfenstein on his steam deck and shaking his head the whole time so his coworkers know he disagrees with it

A team went nine games without making a single goal. The fans decided to help.

New Law Requires 15% Of Cocaine Received By Child Actors Be Set Aside For Future https://theonion.com/new-law-requires-15-of-cocaine-received-by-child-actors-be-set-aside-for-future/

Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.

As end-of-empire scenarios go it is so much more dignified to get your capital city sacked by the Visigoths than to have a bunch of illiterate rich people in their 70s doing it through a series of incomprehensible tantrums because their brains were defeated by their phones.

citing sources: a modern guide!

BLIND FURY (1989)

Can’t wait to dance on Hulk Hogan’s grave, brother

This is Goose. He's here to perform his own rendition of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel. 13/10 please enjoy

Local Dumbfuck On Jumbotron Waits Until Last Damn Second To Wave theonion.com/local-d...

Trump Urges Supporters To Move On From Societal Disdain For Pedophilia

What’s going on with my "tops" and, in some cases, "bottoms?”