Existential Comics

I would say I have two big regrets in my life: 1. I kept buying Madden games even though they kept sucking. 2. When I was a kid I told my mom that I liked my English muffins extra toasted, so whenever she fucked up and burned the shit out of them she would give those ones to me.

Cartesian Poker - existentialcomics.com/comic/678

Socrates's Treasure - existentialcomics.com/comic/677

When all is said and done, beer is surely humanity's greatest triumph. Democracy, I suppose, would be a distant second.

Behold this issue's @existentialcomics.com by Corey Mohler: a very short history of #metaphysics in the Western thought. Explore in our new issue 176: philosophynow.org

What does Plato have to teach us about Kelly Clarkson being rude to shopkeepers when trying to buy a mechanical bird? Plato believed that cruelty corrupts and soul of the person doing the cruelty, sometimes damaging themselves even more than the victim of the act. In this essay I will...

Fun fact: Christopher Columbus never set foot in present day United States, whereas Fabio spent most of his life here, and was WAY more hunkier.

Nietzsche Finds a Genie existentialcomics.com/comic/676

The Philosophy of Shoplifting a Giant Turkey existentialcomics.com/comic/675

The worst part about remote work is how brutal it is to do comedy bits when everyone has their mics muted and you can't see their reactions. For the sake of the needy comedians at your job, please unmute your mic and throw in some pity laughs. Thank you for your attention to this important matter.

Schopenhauer: is the Glass Half Empty? existentialcomics.com/comic/674

I think it is beautiful to imagine that the Whore of Babylon could have been originally inspired by a specific person. Can you imagine fucking so many people that you spook Christians for 2000+ years? Absolute Legend.

Batman vs The Trolley Problem - existentialcomics.com/comic/673

Controversial opinion but I think it's about time that someone exposes themselves to radiation, dresses up in some kind of animal themed outfit, develops a theme song for themselves, and actually does something about the billionaires who are ruining the world.

It's funny how AI tech bros are all like "soon AI will be able to perform all human labor" and the next sentence is never something like "and that's why we can easily move to a 32 hour work week now."

Philosophy vs a Huge Angry Bull existentialcomics.com/comic/672

'72 Dolphins can crack the champagne, the Rams aren't going undefeated this year...

The Horny Universe Theory - existentialcomics.com/comic/671

The Case of Aristotle and Women's Teeth existentialcomics.com/comic/670

It sucks that Viking explorers never made it all the way to South America, because I feel like they would have loved to dare each other to eat really hot chili peppers for a laugh.

Aliens Explain How Things Really Work existentialcomics.com/comic/669

Socratic Religion existentialcomics.com/comic/668

Was watching a space video and they dude was like "one light year is about 9 trillion kilometers." And then he goes on to say "or around 6 trillion miles". Okay thanks my dude, my American mind was having a hard time visualizing that in kilometers, but now I got it. How many football fields though?

Mirror Mirror on the Wall existentialcomics.com/comic/667

Does anyone else hate the Speed of Light? It's so lame. We can never zip around and visit a million planets just because of some stupid hardcoded limit that they arbitrarily put in because the devs refuse to optimize their engine to handle faster travel.

Until we overthrow the shackles of capitalism, mankind is doomed to continue to remake Spiderman movies until the sun at last envelops the earth and ends our suffering.

Cinderella's Dilemma - existentialcomics.com/comic/666

Do you think Kierkegaard had a "cheat day" for existential despair? Like, a day where he would just go around and enjoy his life.

The Postmodernist Side of the Force existentialcomics.com/comic/665

100% in favor of this. I'm sure it will get even BETTER reviews and make even MORE money than Christopher Nolan's version. It will prove once and for all that morons with a computer can create art better than artist.

Quintus Sextius Chooses Philosophy existentialcomics.com/comic/664

If I were a Spanish player, I would simply not kick it straight at the goalie.

If I had a time machine I would go back to England in the 1860s and tell the people first codifying the rules of soccer to make more room in the game for ad breaks.

David Attenborough voice: "here we see the indigenous Falklander preparing a tradition meal, known by the locals as "bangers and mash". Meals like this, strange as they may seem to us, have been prepared by his ancestors on these islands for the last dozens of years."