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Roses are red. Tires are flammable...

So we fly a pride flag in our front yard in a very conservative neighborhood and it’s been there for the last few years. Someone put this in our mailbox and my goodness…

Out on a walk we passed a cat being walked on a leash and I heard my dog whisper “my culture is not your costume.”

My kid has started a Letterboxd list called Killer Sweaters for films where the killer wears a great sweater and they've asked me to throw it out to Bluesky for more because "that's the kind of thing those weirdos like to do"

Very October day: lunch at Sonic to get their kids meals with Universal Monster toys, visit to Spirit Halloween to see this year’s animatronics, trip to a Haunted Farmers Market, seasonal flavors at the local ice cream shop, and now we’re watching Beetlejuice. 🎃🎃🎃

Portrait of a grown man who did a somersault into a leaf pile and lost his car keys.

Here is my pitch for anyone who has worries about rail: I think that building out rail is a necessary (but not sufficient) step in transforming American cities from totally car dependent to slightly walkable, in a way that no other form of transit is.

Just saw a cybertruck skinned with the Palestinian flag. 🤔♾️

Do we really need to explain to people that it is really, REALLY important to read to young children? Like, you, personally, need to read to your child - your voice, your face, your hand gestures, your lap, your arms, your closeness. What kind of parent doesn't know this in their bones?

Mom Friend: “hey do you know what the deal is with bringing in birthday treats?” Me: “I’m pretty sure they’re fine as long as they’re store bought” MF: “so they know I didn’t poison the kids” Me: “…so they know all the possible allergens” MF: “wow spooky season is really getting to me this year”

E.T. almost dying was extremely terrifying to me. The men in lab coats! The sheets of plastic! Hard no, I would not rewatch this movie until the last five years.

The existence of the Popemobile in the CARS cinematic universe means that at some point, one of those cute-as vehicles tried to assassinate the Pope, which is kind of fucked up when you think about it

My man looks like Poochie the Rockin' Tech Support

Life comes at you fast. One day you’re wearing Ann Taylor to your corporate job in Lower Manhattan and the next you’re watching your son poop while his sister sings “America the Beautiful.”

I’m seeing a lot of posts about talking to your sons in light of the Cornell article. And yes. Talk to your sons. Here are some things you should say, based on anti-violence research about what they need to hear:

[Thom Yorke from Radiohead in a diner] I’ll have today’s special ˢᵒ ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉⁿ ˢᵖᵉᶜⁱᵃˡ

Random Mom: “hi, I wanted to introduce myself, I’m Jack’s mom, he talks about Oscar all the time.” Me: “…hi?” Random Mom: “they call each other chicken rat?” Me: “oh, yes, of course! Hello!”

rolling into autumn like

Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise.

Twin A: <finally acquiesces to try a single crumb of unfrosted pumpkin kringle> Twin B: <picks off all the nuts and sugar still stuck to the package and eats them>

Can stop, will stop. Always happy to stop

The sheer amount of 9/11 content coming across my feeds is overwhelming, I cannot imagine what it must be like in the city. Please, my beloved New Yorkers, be gentle with yourselves & each other today.

This made me cackle

Still true. Bed’s the best.

For me it was probably when 9/11 happened

The most absolutely massive flex from the state fair exhibit. This quilt is made of 40 years of prize ribbons from various categories at the New Mexico State Fair won by Carol St. Clair Johnson. She also won a prize for this quilt.

it must be so difficult to act with a character who you can’t even see. thankfully, Foghorn is just that talented

thinking about the time my dad couldn't remember the phrase Jock Jams so he said 'you know, the one that's all music a guy would play to get himself jazzed up to assassinate the president. whole CD of it. what's that called again'

an external writ does not count as an invitation however a vampire can enter the domicile of a renter with the invitation of the landlord, yet another thing the various leeches have in mutual interest

it’s really fucked up that the only way out is through

@katemckean.bsky.social this is what you were wanting!

All our best 80-year-olds are out here catching strays, meanwhile the worst one is still breathing somehow.

This girl I used to waitress with in Austin, we moved to New York together in 2003 on a literal Greyhound bus. Shared a fifth floor walk-up studio that, when it rained, had more leaks in the ceiling than we had pots and pans. We used to get drunk and smoke off the fire escape and do “sad-offs.”

Hi it’s Friday and I’m a lucky lady but I really resent that I’ve had to think about that man for ten whole years of my life

At this point the only vegetable that hasn't been recalled is Mitch McConnell.

When you share a room with your twin sister who is less enthusiastic wrt monsters.

Thanks all the same Gmail, I don’t need an AI summary of my emails. I can read.

At the gate at JFK. Me: who is blasting music? Wife: Tracy Morgan Looks up. It is Tracy Morgan.

Creepy Klaxon explodes. Trump: “These young beautiful girls…these young beautiful girls in the White House, they come in. Now I'm not supposed to say beautiful, but what the hell. These young, these gorgeous, beautiful girls, they want to be safe and they come say Mr. President, thank you, sir.”