Mark Allerton

Me, a Scouser, every 5 minutes watching Clayface.

At least no one thought the tulips were gonna kill us all.

The Tory leader tried to make a councillor out of a Neo Nazi criminal who had literally been *sent to prison for racist hounding of a Jewish MP*. When she couldn’t do that, she made him an antiracism advisor. That was, what, two months ago.a

Sad. But at least she can go back to not being a lawyer.

In a bar where they're showing the Broncos Seahawks game. Explained to my NFL fan friend about Landon Robinson turning up in Dress Blues and we both laughed.

He became a SIM

Was interviewed by a US journalist today who asked if we were all panicking about terrorists at Fairford, which ended with me trying to explain dogging.

Went for a little walk while it's not raining and spotted 2 MPs already. Darren Jones and Anneliese Dodds (I think). Lots of suits and lanyards walking about. #LabourConference

Just to make the point, I don’t think Shabana Mahmood is appeasing the far right because she thinks it’s electorally sensible. She’s doing so because she believes what they believe.

We've gone from people going "I'm not racist, but..." to "yeah, lol, actually I am racist as fuck, and quite proud of that fact too"

You’ll notice that as ever, the annoying dirty hippies called the War On Terror correctly and all the smart, Sensible important people dived into it with both hands giving everyone the finger and screaming insults, and now it’s just another One Of Those Weird Things That Happened.

‘Can I just shock you? I’m actually very right-wing.’

Turns out that if you are an old lady with a banner supporting Palestine, the government arrests you on charges of terrorism. If you are a masked white male thug bringing a national port to a standstill, the government does absolutely nothing, and the media covers it like some lads on a day out.

The other day I just felt the urge to take up golf. I'm 41. Anyone else experience this?

Imagine you get to Heaven and it's basically a work do. Gutted.

[Exit Queen.]

Which is to say: the Labour Party supported an actual genocide as a way of wiping away a stain and suspicion that sections of the Labour Party deliberately spread against itself, as a way of winning back power for its most right wing faction. Which sounds pretty “who goes to prison first”, to me.

It's me, a Telegraph columnist, taking a break screaming bloody murder about fairness in the women's sports I wouldn't be caught dead watching to wax lyrical about academic integrity in sociology, a field I consider to be fake, at institutions I consider to be communist indoctrination centers.

Nao Santa Maria at The Royal Albert Dock, Liverpool. A replica of Christopher Columbus' ship from his first expedition across the Atlantic in 1492.

King Charles told me the public keeps eating his prime ministers so l asked how many prime ministers he has and he said he just goes to the parliament and gets a new prime minister afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding prime ministers to the public and then his son started crying.

Going from “Getting caught setting private investigators on the Sunday Times and trying to report them as Russian stooges”, to “inexplicably pardoned then given a Times column to knife his pals and promote a new PM” and then “oh wow, uh, Head of government policy unit” is quite the career path.

Happy Treason Day!

They were obsessed with crushing the left and that meant they didn’t actually spend much time thinking about what they were actually going to do. This is post hoc rationalising of their fuckery www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

If England win tonight they'll face Mexico next. The two countries in this world cup where I've had the best Mexican food.

James Bond (Roger Moore) would love this

it's always cute when Americans are like "LOL. Europe. we put aircon in ancient buildings ALL THE TIME it's easy." then you look and they mean sticking window units in some wooden buildings younger than my wardrobe.

We regret that our event on Extreme Heat: Improving governance and strengthening action around the world has been cancelled due to the red extreme heat warning issued by the UK Met Office. Our apologies to everyone who was planning to attend the event.

Concealing your plans to scythe benefits from the public is not “moderate”. Nor is joining culture wars on the side of hateful, cruel reactionaries, or conniving in war crimes and genocide, vastly expanding what counts as “terrorism” or creating spurious pretexts to arrest thousands of protestors.

What a fucking idiot. I bet most of them have 🇬🇧 tattoos.

It looks a bit like Mandelson set up deals that committed us to buying a zillion pounds worth of AI services, and a lot like a) these guys have no ideas that aren’t “shove money at Nazi tech dorks” and b) they’ve bet everything that this will work wonders, despite there being no reason to believe it

Make her the next SecWar/SecDef/SecPeace(?)

¡Vamos, Málaga! (I am in Málaga, Spain)

Similarly, the reason the Labour Right, a tiny cadre of the most odious and uninspired careerists you could hope to never meet could completely retake and reshape the party in their own image despite having no internal or external constituency is purely that they had (Mandelson's) media clout.

What distinguishes the UK from the US and many similar countries is that our entire media-political class were educated in the same institutions, live in the same city, and are increasingly inter-related. It is the civic equivalent of incest, and has similar results on institutional heredity.

Is everyone enjoying the heat wave? I spent the last 5 days dressed like this: (I'm off for 3 weeks now tho wooo)

Thanks, Vonnegut. 💜

It is 90°F in the North of England right now.

Like, I can see why professional politics pundits would far prefer it if we paid no attention to the man behind the curtain and just listened to the booming voice of the Wizard of Oz. But I am saying, the guy behind the curtain is the actual story here.

Just went past a petrol (gas) station and here's where we are at in the UK

The strategy of rhetorically punching core supporters in the face going as predictable for the Labour Party

I said to a Labour doorknocker last night, "Your home secretary LITERALLY told people like me to fuck off a fortnight ago, and now you're here asking me to vote for you?"

Yes, people should instead do what Tom did: secretly concoct a ludicrously fraudulent scandal with some colleagues pretending to have been bullied that you turn into a slow burn BBC propaganda bullshit extravaganza, intended to decapitate your own party? In a year that ends with The Brexit Election.

We said: If you go as hard as you can on flags, crackdowns and racism, you will get walloped by the far right and repel your own supporters, and make the country far more needlessly cruel and horrible in the process. And, what’s happening now?

Quick lads, get the sixty foot flags out and announce another migrant crackdown. You can still win em back