Mobius Stripper

If I die, I want my remains to be scattered at the US Capitol. Do not cremate me.

A deranged question from a diseased mind. For one thing, look around at the internet and tell me if you think it's fixed, for basically any value of "fixed".

Very unexpected to have it come down to William Shatner and George Takei to see who will win the Star Trek TOS Tontine.

The more you understand something, the harder it is to have an opinion that fits in one post on here. Black and white forever, gray never.

Whoa whoa whoa, blaming the voters is what DEMOCRATS do! Stay in your lane!

See, this is how politics used to be, back in the good old days.

Unscientific vibes-based political analysis: JD Vance doing an obsequious Bengals post *on X* and getting absolutely fucking fried in the replies

Just because you don't like Matt Yglesias doesn't mean he has to be wrong about absolutely everything he says. That is simply a choice he makes.

Never has there been a cleaner distillation of the "Me sowing vs Me reaping" meme

Let's goooooo!!! I honestly think Trump being as awful as he is has hurt the far-right movement globally. The same way he's forcing places to adopt greener policies because of the way he's messing with global oil markets. Hopefully the far right collapses, and it will be hilarious if this is why.

When Democrats do well this fall, we’re going to see a lot of “strategists” trying to take credit for their approach. The trans panic people have been nothing but a drag on Democratic momentum and they need to fuck off into the sun

Most prescient scene in the history of science fiction

Yeah, obviously people are buying Cheez-Its because they don't have a recipe to make them at home.

WEIR-DO FUR-RIES! 👏 👏 👏👏👏

if you ever happen to see someone post a joke you don't understand or discuss a subject you aren't familiar with, you are well within your right to complain, and perhaps even scold them if necessary. you are their customer and you have rights

"I can't show my face because I'm white. That's why I *have* to wear this hood..."

i have 75 agents praying to send this guy to hell, effectively cancelling out his prayers

I can accept that his singing voice isn't his everyday speaking voice. But why is his speaking voice SO normal? And what do you mean his singing voice is supposed to be like a drill sergeant??

The abject terror I felt at hearing Shaggy's normal speaking voice

so I told Bukele it sounds like he keeps feeding soldiers to Haitian gangs and then his daughter started crying

(to the Powerwheels jingle) Show-show-shower beers Show-show-shower beers

My man looks like Palpatine's lazy brother who spent his whole life saying, "I could've become emperor, if I wanted to. Not worth the hassle."

I don't think democracies can work like this

What you people need is GRASS Effect, as in go out and touch it! *AI image of Looney Tunes characters looking all messed up*

I guess it was too much to ask for it to be Psalm 109.

They're calling it "Graham Platner's Revenge"

It is hardly fair for both of these to be on my timeline so close to each other.

I had to go on Twitter to confirm this was real because Ship Awesome Games In A Weekend having a hand with six fingers was so on the nose I was about to pass out

🎶 Whoa-oh here she comes Look out, bombs, she'll root you out Whoa-oh here she comes She's a minesweeper 🎶

This is why I subscribe to both @fangraphs.com and @theonion.com

🎶 Whoa-oh here she comes Look out, bombs, she'll root you out Whoa-oh here she comes She's a minesweeper 🎶

*me at my next therapy session showing them the news from today*: See? Being vulnerable IS bad!

That's it, I'm convinced. Now I won't vote for either Joe or Jill Biden.

No thanks!

I think you could? But cool of him to compare our economy to the Titanic, the famous symbol of problems being easily resolved.

This is like how people think couples therapy causes divorce.

Ah damn, guess finding for these studies is about to get pulled and everything they're doing will be made illegal.

and I can do my banking on this app???

These articles all make sense with one little tweak: Why Are So Many Adults Cutting Off Their Parents' Heads? Cutting Your Parents' Heads Off Isn't the Answer More Adults Are Cutting Heads Off Family. Expert Reveals Surprising Consequences

Philly trying to claim the Mike Vick saga as their trouble is hilarious. Yeah man, the Eagles were the birds most affected by that, not the team that was starting him when he was arrested and sent to jail.

I didn't realize they responded to the criticism by just having Apu not speak for a decade. That seems... suboptimal.

“The internet is a store but it used to be a library” hits me like a slug to the chest

Find someone who looks at you the way The Hill looks at Rahm Emanuel

Threads check

It's crazy that there's a log of everything Elon says and people still act like he's a serious person that should be listened to. He definitely needs to be paid attention to because he's using his wealth to try to destroy this country (and foreigners), but we don't need to actually listen to him.

Why are there so many news stories about pooping these days?? I can't help but think there were some threads on social media and they suddenly all thought it was a trend they needed to write about? This society sucks. Can we try unplugging it and plugging it back in?