Forrest Plump

Do not go willy into that good nilly

your girl out here lookin fine as hell

Why now?

i miss you too.

if you wish you were a gay woman you should be one

Bluesky users be like

So many feelings and so many things to say but never come across as emotional, angry or really any feeling but happy or you’re labeled crazy

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right Here I am, reliving a terrifying childhood trauma while under hypnosis

Okay, but what’s your second favourite song about taking care of business?

Sorry I missed you. I did so deliberately so I could continue eating my hair.

Unfurling sounds kinda ouchy

*hearts the Lyft driver’s message on FB after he looked me up which scared me bc I could’ve been stuffed in his trunk in Chicago* fuck yeah, I still got it

ground pork implies the existence of flying pigs

Been chudbursting for the last 12 hours bc he didn’t play this during the solo sets 😤

Alexis, play “Lake Shore Drive” by Aliotta Haynes Jeremiah

it’s like you don't want to be best internet friends with me or something

It's not that I'm angry. It's just that I'm upset with myself for still liking you.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I’M BACK BABY

Hit send, then sort through the feelings later.

Monday, Part II: The Tuesdaying

a gloryhole but for forehead kisses

Youuuuuu guyssssss who knew the cure to depression was just not working? 🥰

hfs Gus Moreno has a new book coming out next year In the words of Richard Dreyfuss, “this means something.”

*hits blunt* decades from now, the younger generation will be weirded out to see actual Michael instead of Jaafar Jackson the way we saw Ritchie Valens and Lou Diamond Phillips

The hardest part about breaking up is knowing when it’s socially acceptable for the “so I guess that’s it, huh?” text

REF: *blows whistle* WHISTLE: *cums*

“I don’t know how to explain it. We just have a connection.” - the kind of texts I send 2 months before I enter my Marvel villain era

Ruined my own day like the independent baddie that I am bc I don’t need a man to do it for me

Somebody didn’t get her breakfast at 4:15am and now she’s piiiiissed

Stranger: wtf is wrong with you? Me: *deep breath

I prefer "autumn" over "fall" because if you fall in the shower, you could die. If you autumn in the shower, you just smell like cinnamon.

Communication is key to making things worse

What if I just started typing my Googs here