El tejón

the bisexuals are here to stay and in baseball too hahaha

My Portuguese might be a little rusty, but to all my Brazilian followers I’d like to say: “You’ve reached your monthly usage limit. Purchase more credits to continue using Claude”

since we’re talking about it, vanilla bean is the best Cheesecake Factory cheesecake

I appreciate and support all lifters here's the rule you doing 315, a good member of society: dude that is incredible a shitbag, doing 315: oh you warming up?

doink

I'm confident I could leave the Hotel California at any point.

I am Katie Zacharia

@edsbs.bsky.social did I play you in marvel snap yesterday, if not fyi someone’s username is EDSBStegron

Me when my parents rented DEEP IMPACT from Blockbuster

It is sad that Tom Morello is no longer woke

Turnstile on SNL. What a time to be alive

fuckin DEI hires man

please help… my son…

MAD TV’S 100 BEST TV SHOWS OF THE 21st CENTURY 1. Butter Ball Saul 2. Hicks 3. Widow’s Bae 4. Mad Men’s Wearhouse 5. Succotashion 6. Kevin Hart Can Fuck Himself 7. The Wirewolf 8. Slow Lorises 9. Twin Peaky Blinders 10. Reacheround

Jason Isbell Explains How Music Is Like The News But For Sounds. Subscribe to The Onion at https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001bfegPAAQ.

Sega bosses were ready to ditch Sonic the Hedgehog before the franchise's hugely-successful live-action movie helped change their minds, said Sonic Team leader and development veteran Takashi Iizuka. https://t.co/SHDEq96V1Y

I’m sorry, but if you bring an iced coffee - or any damn beverage at all - to a job interview, I will shoot you in the face. I will shoot you dead in your fucking face.

no he’s not

look if you are trying to find anything of value in the opinions of self-ID’d undecided voters who talk to reporters about being undecided in late september of an election year that’s on you. what do you think you are getting out of this, these people’s brains are warped. take a walk

I’m gonna die mad at my parents for not letting me watch the Simpsons in the early 90s due to culture war shit, but Full House, in which Michelle acted like a little nightmare freak every episode, was cool because I guess it had hugging

When I was a kid I read an interview with a 100 year old woman who said the most important innovation she’d seen was the electric iron

He had me at “hyrox doo doo queen”

BREAKING: Ed Sheeran overcorrects, joins Hezbollah

It’s been

the Emmy was actually for Steven Root's monologue about waiting outside of the ladies prison every month from the King of the Hill where Boomhauer got dumped, that's how these things work sometimes

American Dad is still going and it’s not that great but I like having proof of life for Patrick Stewart

Millennial who as a kid argued about the Iraqi War on a Dragonball Z message board vs. anyone else in a debate.

THE PREMISE IS THAT THE MUPPETS ARE PUTTING ON A SHOW CALLED THE MUPPET SHOW

Ive gotten real good at making chicken cutlets shaped like either Argentina or the wu tang logo

no they’re not. come on. this is not a thing

"standing" is my favorite fake legal thing. come on, you just made that up, I read the news

refuse to believe that hillary didn’t know the macarena

let’s start at square one what’s a workflow

hell yeah

Kinda weird to know that ISIS is aware of Albany

bluesky is gonna be super cool about Florida Dems on the same night picking a DSA person and an ex Republican for statewide office, I can tell

Every burger doesn’t need a sauce. Cool out on the sauces

Food service was almost as bad as the stigma I got as a SWer. Butt of jokes. “Teenager job.” “Easy work.” Hardest job I’ve ever done. Worst pay. Respect them. Pay a living wage.

i guess we’re not gonna stop saying “woke 1” huh