overgroaning

do any of yall get stuff other than songs stuck in your head? a while ago I had clint howard’s face stuck in my head for a whole day

my barber texted me today cause I didn't respond to his recent text about him moving salons. started typing a response saying 'hey sorry things have been crazy' and halfway through an ambulance pulled up outside my house and i saw them taking a baby away on a stretcher

i swear to christ if an alien came down and tried to gift me its advanced technologies i would slap that shit out of its hands 🚫 i do NOT have the time or energy to be dealing with that 🚫 go complicate affairs elsewhere

got home from the bar at 5:30am and promptly saved a picture of former white house chief of staff Reince Priebus to my camera roll

Piss Piss

Cool dude alert

it is now legal to push ken sim down the stairs

when it comes to visualizing video game health, it's hard to beat a globe of blood

list is based on biggest impact at the time rather than current favourites. I did this in chronological order, seems worth noting how there isn't a single album from the decade I spent depressed and smoking weed all day.

Have you noticed, lately, or noticed people around you commenting, that there just seems to be no money anymore. There's no money for companies to make the tv shows you like, the video games you like, the local diner you like shut down, no one you know can find a job. Think about that in context of

not sure why I made this but now you have to see it

one of the hard things about trying to quit drinking as a social crutch is acknowledging that yes i'm autistic and i'm gonna stumble over myself or short circuit in a situation I don't have a script for and it's fine. nobody is gonna come strangle me with an extension cord cause i was kinda weird

Lord Barvo visited your kingdom! Lord Barvo requested 1 Horse Lord Barvo refused your offer of 0.5 Horse Lord Barvo used 'Diarrhea Flute' Your army's morale has fallen Lord Barvo used 'Diarrhea Flute' Your army's morale has fallen Lord Barvo used 'Diarrhea Flute' Your army has disbanded

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me (recently teleported to 1899): you're telling me a horse drew this carriage? man in top hat (looking concerned): yes

hear me out: ketamine horse therapy

expending a lot of mental energy trying to manifest a bryan fuller southern reach series

he sounds like when a fly gets trapped in my bathroom

@bsky.app may I request an option to turn off reposts on specific users. My feed is bogged down by too many low quality reposts at times and I’d like to turn off reposts for users rather than mute them. Thank you.

taking a peaceful stroll through pacific spirit park when my earbuds read out an email from nintendo with the subject line 'wouldn't you rather be playing games with night now?' no I would not

YOU WILL BELIEVE A DOG CAN READ YOUR MIND

a terrible notion. I shan't be looking into this any further

one thing i always hate to see is an ovipositor. get that away from me

they should give mitch mcconnell and lindsey graham a double funeral like the one in final destination 3

JOKER: Not so fast, Bat-JERK! My LAUGHBangs will leave you BLIND as a BAT! BLUESKY BATMAN: Oof. Many people suffer from reduced vision. Not funny. JOKER: It's like, it's a pun. It's just wordplay. BLUESKY BATMAN: Sorry if I'm not in the mood for "jokes" while SCOTUS shreds our constitutional rights

every time I get tricked into going on Threads its just some shit like 'why hasn't betty white spoken out about gaza' with a hundred pages of incomprehensible bickering in the comments

a crow that has a nest near my house has been giving me the business. just hit me right in the hat on my way inside. i'm going have to start offering it peanuts or something as tribute

bad comic

god this was so fucking funny

in the crypt in mina the hollower there's a monster that's just a legs that walks around until it falls down a hole. this really speaks to me

my doctor, marching me out into the waiting room by the back of my neck after I told him I think I might have hemorrhoids: tell everyone. tell everyone where you just asked me to look

opened bluesky to post "bluesky is so much better than twitter" and it crashed when I opened it and im still gonna post bluesky is so much better than twitter

our daggerheart campaign’s first session was a couple days ago and already our party has guardianship of a chimpanzee with locked-in syndrome

oh fuck off

if someone tells you their friend is ‘unhinged’ be prepared to meet the most moderately quirky person you’ve ever met in your life

just sitting on a bench in the forest, a kid and his dog hop up on the bench next to me. he points to his dog and says ‘he looks like a coyote!’, I say ‘he does!’, he says ‘you have red hair’, I say ‘I do!’

For context, it's 1 year in jail the 2nd time a trans person uses a bathroom in Idaho without assaulting anyone or doing anything in the bathroom that isn't exactly what you're supposed to do in the bathroom. Cis child rapists: 6 months Trans ppl who are alive: 1 year

finally, someone has solved the problem of household pets not giving you explicit instructions and encouragement to self harm