suorpio

awoooooboros

“protein enriched chocolate chip cookie” is kinda the perfect synthesis of the conflicting american male desires to be a spartan warrior and also five years old

Chemists Announce Upgraded Periodic Table With Dozens Of New Elements For Just $4 A Month https://theonion.com/chemists-announce-upgraded-periodic-table-with-dozens-o-1839288701/

@meakoopa.bsky.social Black Sheep/Black Sheeps double feature?

I swear to god if I hear another person talk about “the mainstream media” while mainlining disinfo slop online all day, I’m going to lose my mind

sports, math, art

Every aspect of life as a gay man is unimaginably better than it was when I was born in the mid 80s. We beat the plague that was killing us by the hundreds of thousands and then won broad social and civic equality.

Powerball Adds Essay Section https://theonion.com/powerball-adds-essay-section/

We should throw a big party for this guy

Technically, a dictionary is a book of spells.

The first genuinely honest ad for generative AI I've ever seen, from Microsoft / CoPilot A mediocre white guy sees his non-white colleague getting praised for good work, he asks AI to *literally copy it*, and then he gets all the praise instead: www.ispot.tv/ad/SoDi/micr...

Justin Trudeau gave Alberta a $4 billion oil pipeline and they responded by revving up their gas-guzzling trucks with flags saying “fuck that guy” 🫤

Ah, fall!

Diminish an anime Cabin boy Moon

Simple math

#Breaking: Alberta votes to remain in Canada, broadcasters project

Company of Wolves drawing that didn't get used for anything - from the archives

📚📣 Happy Ontario Public Library Week! From the first book borrowed to the connections made, the skills learned, and the communities strengthened, public libraries are making an impact every day across Ontario. ❤️ Learn more at www.oplw.ca #OPLW #LoudForLibraries

Snarky white trash twerp gets schooled on religious freedoms

"Masculinity in this sense is a lifestyle product" 🤯

The Superman No Smoking Ad, but I lost the audio track and dubbed it from memory

For my next trick…

Please enjoy my cartoon in today's Toronto Star

I say this in all seriousness: she is likely so MAGA she doesn’t know “pyramid scheme” has real negative connotations

Welldone contemporary America for being slightly more conservative than *checks notes* Elizabethan England.

Some bitch: God is everything @jamestalarico.bsky.social : God is non binary Same bitch: NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

In August, Trump purchased between $1m and $5m in SpaceX bonds. Two days later, he signed a memorandum setting out a new policy pledging US government support for space transportation companies: www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...

😍

The Republican Party is on the side of Russia against Ukraine. It’s not me saying that, it’s their cult leader. bsky.app/profile/atru...

New working paper: the Norwegian wealth tax was a huge success. The "exodus" of wealthy people never happened (less than 100 individuals left). Tax revenue increased by 71.5%. No changes in business activity or investment. www.nber.org/papers/w35854

I reanalyzed the CDC data behind the LGB “free fall” headline. It rests on a change in bisexual identification among one grade, in one wave, of one survey. Gay or lesbian identification did not change significantly. Calling it a "free fall" is sensational and just gives bad actors talking points.

Nothing makes you feel more like an artistic genius than sharpening a pencil with an exacto-knife

“If you don’t like public executions just don’t watch it” says the crowd trying to ban drag shows and books

Okay so we have a number now: the Onion is officially 6 months ahead of reality.

This would sink a presidency in any other era. I would bet most Americans will never hear it even happened.