valid handle

~~let’s just forget everything said and everything we did~~

ALRIGHT JAYLEN I AM HITTING THE POOL FIRST THING TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #celtics #nbasky

Jaylen Brown is convincing me to start swimming #celtics #nbasky

in my dream last night I was a miniature sized man. I ran on the court and held that Achilles tendon together. Celtics tied the series to 2-2. Only Ben stiller saw me and he recognized my game, as all gamers should. He and spike Lee became Celtics fans. #celtics #knicks #nbasky

Tatum masterclass legacy game, ended by a horrific injury. My tears will flood the entire north east #nbasky #celtics

Can’t wait for Nico to trade Flagg 4-5 years from now! #nbasky

In the state of Texas you are legally required to have at least one photo of yourself with finger guns

We can all agree that the best part of a song is when they start running in the opening intro of an anime

my next tattoo will be a payton pritchard card #celtics #nbasky

i love the roster of the knicks so much too bad i love the celtics way more #nbasky

rate my setup

Me: I can’t believe UK voters chose to torch their economy with Brexit. That can never be topped. American voters:

*flexing* *points to bicep* This right here buddy

aint no way we cut medicaid and housing assistance so jeff bezos could buy this shirt

men who dressed like this from 2008 - 2012 had preppy menswear blogs

Amazon MGM Studios has confirmed that in the next James Bond film Bond will be fully nude in the iconic title sequence. “You will see James Bond’s penis” said a spokesperson. “James Bond will be shooting at you with his penis out”

I saw slowdive live recently and it seemed like they just used windows vita screensavers and Winamp audio animations for their backgrounds music world take note #shoegaze

[threatening a baby] here comes the airplane

When I’m president my first executive order will be to make every single stall bathroom have a sign that says occupied or free when you lock/unlock it. My second will be if someone knocks on the stall door, the person inside is legally obligated to say “IM POOPING OVAH HERE”

How are Shiba Inu’s feeling about DOGE? We need these interviews

if you were accidentally fired while transporting a nuclear warhead and currently need a place to stay with said warhead please know that i have a sizable backyard and an abiding desire to be a nuclear power

The other website is pretty much done

you tellin me a rat atou'd this ille

Jesus christ, was I giving him ideas?

Oh damn Prime actually published their failed chatgpt prompt in the description

Maybe I wasn’t clear about this. I wanted more egg and no plane crash, not many plane crash and no egg.

the players' union should probably take a really close look at this one. the cba very clearly states that you have to retain a player if they're wearing your hat. for all i know he's taken off the hat since this picture was taken, but due diligence is warranted here

My 100th birthday... in prison? - This is abuse.

My son is afraid a hummingbird might rip through his body at 9000mph. Can any professionals on here tell him he is stupid and full of shit

After speaking with Big Balls about foreign policy issues, I am ready to vote to confirm him as Secretary of State. -Susan Collins, 2027

I think one major takeaway from the election is that no matter what the data does or does not say about the strength of the economy, the most important thing you can do is spend eighteen hours a day online telling poor people they’re wrong

‘You Can’t Let This Happen,’ Says Fundraising Email From Sitting U.S. Congressperson

It’s wild that the surgery that makes you taller prevents you from playing basketball for health reasons Why else would I want to get tall?????? I wanna DUNK

My VPN works

Look the price of freedom is that airplanes crash more. If you don't like it move to china