Mr. Will Morgan

Palpatine big naturals

*extremely stroke of midnight voice* Folks,

Just as a private equity firm buys out a corporation and strips it for parts, a consultant class is raiding the Democratic Party and getting “generationally wealthy” along the way New from me and @adambonica.bsky.social newrepublic.com/article/2163...

Group Halloween costume idea: the whale from Whalefall, Payakan, and Brenden Fraser whale.

Lena Dunham in HBO pitch writing GIRLS on the whiteboard, then wiping away the S so it says GIRL, then adding a dollar sign so it says GIRL$, then wiping it all away and writing ARLI$$

Shane Gillis’ stand up is like if a Danny McBride character was just a real life guy and there weren’t any jokes

evergreen

Fuck Gavin Newsom

I’m not paying full price for a mattress used in someone‘s sound bath.

“In the land of dick sucking contests, the person that can suck dicks really well is king.”

I have resigned from my job at Anthropic because the ai systems we built keep telling me I have a flat butt.

Hell yeah

Happy Pegtember to all those who celebrate!

After we beat you in as an initiation , there’s very little violence in my gang.

Same.

If I pre sell 200 copies of my Native American history comedy book between now and Wednesday, I’ll drive to Newport Beach and film my book unboxing video on John Wayne’s literal tombstone 🙂 (Pre Sale link in bio / if you already pre ordered, let me know in the comments!)

we’re at costco and my husband ordered a hot dog from the cashier and the guy said “what flavor” and my husband said wat and costco guy said “jk there’s only one flavor. it’s hot dog” and my husband said dammit you did this to me last time and the costco cashier collapsed in giggles

HALF NELSON was a 1985 Joe Pesci TV series that was cancelled after 9 episodes, but its intro seems to last forever via an escalating cavalcade of absurd cast reveals, underscored by a theme song that feels like a gag gift when you can't license "I Love L.A."...

#AEWDynamite 🤼‍♂️ #aew #wrestlesky

i don't believe anyone has "good-faith" concerns about trans women in sports in 2026. there's been too much time to hear the actual evidence, the actual people affected, and the role the debate plays in attempts to purge trans people from American life. anybody picking that side has made a choice

Film you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Star Trek, Star Wars, LOTR, Marvel, Disney, or Ghibli.

Gotta shut down the factory that makes this kinda guy

if you see me at SDCC and ask for one of these i will give you one

How that big ass cyclops milking them little sheeps?

Eating all my co-workers lunches from the break room fridge while I laugh and scream “Zeus’s law, bitches!”

Odyssey too woke to show the cyclops’s balls. It doesn’t make historical sense unless we see the balls. Totally ruined the story.

The Odyssey (dir. Christopher Nolan)

pronouncing Odyssey as Aw-DUSSY.

every time trump is president you gotta wash your groceries

(mildly disappointed voice) that diarrhea was kinda explosive… I guess.

In The Odyssey, those dudes should get out of the Trojan horse the same way that Ace Ventura gets out of the rhino.

I have been Gone Girled now on two separate occasions and I am not gonna let it happen again!

I once again must reiterate my firm belief: You shouldn’t be allowed to be in a tv commercial within twelve months of aggressively campaigning for an Oscar.